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WELCOME FRIENDS TO MIKEY GATAL'S WORLD => FUN GAMES WITH YOUR FRIENDS => Topic started by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:14:15 AM

Title: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:14:15 AM
Mommy1: Ano ang pinapainum mo sa baby mo?
Mommy2: "promil" para sa matatag na pangarap...eh ikaw?
Mommy1: "emperador" para sa totoong tagumpay!



______________________________________________________________



Pedro bumps a foreigner:
Pedro: Ay sori
Foreigner:
Sori 2
Pedro: Sori3
Foreigner: Wat r u sori 4?
Pedro: (kala mo bobo ako ha!) sori 5
Foreigner: I think u r SICK!
Pedro: hahaha! Sick daw, SIX gani!



_____________________________________________________________



Sa isang Museum..
Juan: Ito bang pangit na 'to ang tinatawag nyo na "ART"?! Ang pangit, nakakasuka! Painting ba to?
Guide: Hindi po sir, salamin yan! Hahaha!


____________________________________________________________


"Ang ilog kahit gaano man kalalim ...
hanggang dibdib lang ng duck ... "



____________________________________________________________



KONSEHAL: Paki acknowledge si Mayor. Late dumating, hayun kararaan lang!
PEDRO (Emcee): I WUD LYK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LATE MAYOR HU JUST PASSED AWAY.


____________________________________________________________


Pedro: may ka-eyebol aq mamya.. anu kya itsura nia?
kc sbi nya kamkha dw cia celebrity.. "SH" amg cmula
ng name...
Juan: jackpot ka, Pedro! Bka SHeri or SHaina!
(matapos ang eyebol, uwi c Pedro)
Juan: kmusta eyebol mo? Bakit ka mlungkot?
Pedro: "SHrek" ampota!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:15:56 AM
2 probnxano sumakay sa elavator,
Berto: magkano ibabayd natin?
Ricardo:tanga! bobo! gago! gnorante! bogok! stupido!

Bakit ka magbayad eh wla png kunduk2r.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:16:29 AM
a naked girl rode a
taxi,d girl askd d
drver,"bkit k nktitig?ngyon k lng
b nkkita ng bbaeng
nkhubad?
DRIVER: d mis! iniisip ko
kung san nkatago
pmsahe mo?!?;-)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:17:32 AM
Mnsan
nhhya
narin
aq
itxt qa
kc bka bz qa,
kya nga kht
dka ngrrply,
pra
sa
akn
ok! lng un...
bsta pg
ayw mu na
tlga mgtxt,
akn nlng
celfon mu ha?...
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:18:15 AM
1gbi
umiiyk
aq
hbng
nkatngin
s
bwan
sbi
ng
bwan
kng
umiiyak
k at cia
ang dhilan
bkt
dmo
cia
iwan?
tpoz
tnanong
ko
cia

ikw b
buwan..

kya mong
iwan ang
langit?????

Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:18:55 AM
Ang
"2rue luv"
kpag nwla
mhrap
ng mktang
muli
ang
"feelings"
kpag
nwla
mhrap
ng iblalik
muli
ang
"trust"
kpag
nabutas
"baby"
ang lalabas......u
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:19:32 AM
sometyms
i 4got
2 ask
"mzta kna?"
or
even
missed
2 say
"ano,ok k lng?"
but
it
doesn't
mean
dat i
4get u...


BUSY LNG!
"prang ikw"......u

Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:20:53 AM
WARNING:

pg-bnasa mo 'to,
crush mo ako.
pg-erase mo,
mhal mo ako.
pg-save
syo na puso ko
pg rply ka,
mg-on na tyo.
sbukan mong
2mwag,
pkkasal ako
syo.....
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:23:51 AM
Kung mhal
ka nya,
mhalin
dn
xa
suklian
mo
ang
pgmmhal
na
ibingay
syo
dhil
ang
tmang
mgsukli
mrming
sukli.....
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:24:19 AM
d ko
kyang
mwla
ka
dhil
ikw
ung
chaser ko,
gin ko sa shabu,
at lytre ko sa yosi
plagay mo kyanin ko pa kya
pgnwla
ka eh!
adik ako sayo!....
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:24:47 AM
nagguluhan
ako,
db
ung
vc2ry linner,
rural linner,
grand linner,
at super 5 linner
ay mga bus yun eh!...
ung Panty linner
bus dn ba un???!!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 07:25:23 AM
Sharon
gtas
nya
alska,
softdrnks
nya
coca-cola
ice cream
nya
slecta
ulam
nya
cen2ry tuna
snck nya
mcdo
kya
ktwan nya
Superferry...skay na?!!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Phoebe_Halliwell on April 22, 2008, 11:14:30 AM
d ko nabasa lahat.haha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 22, 2008, 09:19:34 PM
basaha sukad sa sinugdanan para makatawa ka gasakit gani ako tyan gahapon ug binasa ana.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Phoebe_Halliwell on April 23, 2008, 02:21:05 AM
1 day,i was standing
on the street when
an old woman came to
me & said..

"bili ka na ng payong"

nagtaka ako kasi di
naman maaraw at di
rin maulan. Then i
asked,
"bakit naman po?"

the lola said,
"inuulan ka kasi ng
Kagandahan"

Oh come on lola! Give
me all the payong! :))
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 26, 2008, 11:54:23 PM
Ang
"2rue luv"
kpag nwla
mhrap
ng mktang
muli
ang
"feelings"
kpag
nwla
mhrap
ng iblalik
muli
ang
"trust"
kpag
nabutas
"baby"
ang lalabas......u

hahahhahahahahah ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sutukil on April 26, 2008, 11:58:30 PM
kataw anan bay bisan tagalog kasabot ko gingmay
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 26, 2008, 11:59:44 PM
hahhahaha mao nay giingon ug  hinay2x lang pero kanunay :o
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sutukil on April 27, 2008, 12:14:13 AM
sama sa ra sad na unang sex naho sauna
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 27, 2008, 12:21:41 AM
hahahha mao ba  bai
kuyaw man siguro ka  ug kaagi bai. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sutukil on April 27, 2008, 12:24:21 AM
lisod lagi sudlon pero ingon lagi na hinay hinay lang pero ing sulod ra man pod
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 27, 2008, 12:28:29 AM
lisod lagi sudlon pero ingon lagi na hinay hinay lang pero ing sulod ra man pod

hahahahha mura  ug buho sa mantaha bai.gamay sa  gawas  pero sa  ulod  persang dakoa
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sutukil on April 27, 2008, 12:31:19 AM
hahahahha mura  ug buho sa mantaha bai.gamay sa  gawas  pero sa  ulod  persang dakoa

basta di man ni intawon dakua pero kadtong ing sulod na,mura man ko ug nasuyop ug apil
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 27, 2008, 12:34:02 AM
basta di man ni intawon dakua pero kadtong ing sulod na,mura man ko ug nasuyop ug apil
hahhaha sakit na mn ako tyan katawa bai.

asa man dapit nasayop ug apil?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sutukil on April 27, 2008, 12:34:44 AM
nasuyop bay dili nasayop
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 27, 2008, 12:37:20 AM
nasuyop bay dili nasayop

ay oo ako man diay nasayop

sobra pa diay sa  vacuum to. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Phoebe_Halliwell on April 27, 2008, 02:01:59 AM
sama sa ra sad na unang sex naho sauna

unsa man?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Phoebe_Halliwell on April 27, 2008, 02:02:50 AM
nasuyop bay dili nasayop
nalibat na si michael.nyahahah
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: MichaelCorleone on April 28, 2008, 03:29:07 AM
nalibat na si michael.nyahahah

sayop gani tong kabaw na upat  tiil ako pa na duha ra ning ahong kamot ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on April 08, 2010, 10:16:50 AM
As if walang pakialam pero deep inside, worried na… miss na miss na... Pag nag-text, "So what?" daw Pero later, magre-reply rin naman. Pa-erase-erase pa ng # kunwari pero… hello… memoryado naman 'yung #. Kapag hindi tine-text ng bf/gf niya, kunwari, na-wrong send para magpapansin. Ayaw mag-text pero nagtatanong sa barkada ng bf/gf niya kung kumusta na. Haaayy… LOVE nga naman sa Pilipinas, oh… pang-adik!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on April 14, 2010, 04:51:40 AM
grabeh man viewers ani oist
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on April 14, 2010, 09:11:47 PM
adik ako sayo... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on April 14, 2010, 09:30:38 PM
adik ako sayo... ;D ;D

bakit naman fren?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on April 14, 2010, 09:38:17 PM
bakit naman fren?

aw.....!di ikaw fren.....di tau talo.... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on April 25, 2010, 08:06:53 AM
Magtiayon:

Asawa: Byaan na' taka wah' kay pulus tapulan,
Bana: suwaye buhaton na nimo mag Las-Las ko
Asawa: Bot_bot mag LAS-LAS KA? hadlok gani ka
Patuli mag las-las pa>? PiSoT!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on April 25, 2010, 08:13:34 AM
LAYO ANG MANILA
Bata: Tay, hai may mas layo -- ang buwan o ang Manila?
Amahan: Layo ang Manila, Dong.
Bata: Layo ang buwan, Tay, uy.
Amahan: Kung lay pa ang buwan, nganong makakita ka man sa buwan?Unya kita ka sa Manila? ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 27, 2010, 05:18:05 AM
aw.....!di ikaw fren.....di tau talo.... ;D ;D

sobra ka naman fren
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Arlyn on May 28, 2010, 06:08:09 PM
Joke for today  :o

INTERVIEWER: Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?
ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.

hahahahah....marami sa pinas NPA!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 28, 2010, 07:16:15 PM
so funny naman yan Arlyn more pa please
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Arlyn on May 28, 2010, 08:03:47 PM
gusto mo pa hah?..o segi ito nah!

Tanong: Ano English ng "baka maswerte ako?"
Sagot: "Beef Lucky Me"
Tanong: Ano English ng "Maswerte ako Inay"?
Sagot: "Lucky Me Mami"
Tanong: Ano English ng "Maswerte ako sa lalake"?
Sagot: "Lucky Me with Egg"!

wahahhaha...make sure yon egg nya hanep...haha!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 28, 2010, 08:31:33 PM
gawa mo ba lahat yan? ang galing mo ever  :-*
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 07:24:35 AM
 ;D ;D ;D nice joke
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 16, 2010, 07:27:30 AM
ang daming guests talaga dito everyday,thanks
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 07:28:20 AM
ang daming guests talaga dito everyday,thanks
ato daghanun ang jokes dre aronmalingaw ang mga guess hehehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 16, 2010, 07:29:40 AM
Joke for today  :o

INTERVIEWER: Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?
ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.

hahahahah....marami sa pinas NPA!

hehehe--nice one! ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 16, 2010, 07:29:49 AM
so funny na kasi that i can't even write jokes anymore,LOL
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:15:00 PM
isang araw nahuli ng anak ang magulang habang nagsesex

anak: ma bakit po tumatalbog kayo sa ibabaw ni daddy?

Ina: wla anak, pinaliliit ko lang ang tiyan ni daddy

anak: wa epek yan.. kasi hinihipan ulit ni yaya

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:15:33 PM
Teacher: ok class our lesson 4 today is about planet. earth
is the 3rd planed from the sun. now what is next to mercury?
Pedro: murag rose pharmacy mn tingali mam! d ko lang sure

hahahaha ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:20:52 PM
Doctor: cge, pag nakapasa ka sa test ko na to, lalabas ka na.
Patient: cge!
Doctor: tumuloy ka sa ilaw ng flashlyt.
Patient: anu ako gago? Ayoko nga.
Doctor: mukhang magaling ka na nga, teka. Bat ayaw mong tumulay?
Patient: dok, mautak ako. Eh kung patayin mo ung flashlight, eh di nahulog ako!!!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on June 16, 2010, 09:21:50 PM
isang araw nahuli ng anak ang magulang habang nagsesex

anak: ma bakit po tumatalbog kayo sa ibabaw ni daddy?

Ina: wla anak, pinaliliit ko lang ang tiyan ni daddy

anak: wa epek yan.. kasi hinihipan ulit ni yaya

 ;D ;D ;D


hahahaa..bad yaya!heheehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:23:25 PM
hahahaa..bad yaya!heheehe
mao gyud gurl bad si yaya nagpa bulget ang iya boss sa iyaha hahahaha  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on June 16, 2010, 09:26:56 PM
mao gyud gurl bad si yaya nagpa bulget ang iya boss sa iyaha hahahaha  ;D ;D ;D

hahaha..anad jud si yaya mo hoyup oi..nyahahaha..!dghan hangin jud..hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:31:55 PM
Job interview:
Boss: Ano ang alam mo?
Rommel: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira ng misis
niyo, at kung saan nakatira ang kabit niyo.
Boss: Tanggap ka na!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:32:53 PM
Dalawang holdaper sa bangko:

Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!
Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!
Holdaper #1: Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math. Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:33:15 PM
Pasyente: Okey ba ang services sa ospital na ito?
Doktor: Oo naman. Sigurado 'yon.
Pasyente: Paano kung hindi ako satisfied?
Doktor: Ibabalik namin ang sakit mo.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:35:52 PM
ANAK: 'Tay , penge ng pera. May project kami. Bibili ako
ng "cocomban".
TATAY: Ano ka ba naman. Hangga ngayon "cocomban" pa rin ang tawag mo!
ANAK: Ano po ba ang tama?
TATAY: Bomb paper!  ;D ;D ;D waaaaaaaaaaaa
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:36:36 PM
MISIS: Dear, iligaw mo nga tong pusa. Nakasako na.
Dalhin mo sa malayo!
MISTER: Ok!
MISIS: Bakit ka ginabi? Niligaw mo ba ang pusa?
MISTER: Bwisit na pusang yan! Kundi ko siya sinundan, di
ako nakauwi! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 16, 2010, 09:38:12 PM
At a funeral...

ERAP: Tara na, Jinggoy. Alis na tayo!
JINGGOY: Kararating pa lang natin a!
ERAP: Naku mahirap nang maiwan. Basahin mo o: "REMAINS WILL BE CREMATED."
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 16, 2010, 11:15:34 PM
isang araw nahuli ng anak ang magulang habang nagsesex

anak: ma bakit po tumatalbog kayo sa ibabaw ni daddy?

Ina: wla anak, pinaliliit ko lang ang tiyan ni daddy

anak: wa epek yan.. kasi hinihipan ulit ni yaya

 ;D ;D ;D


bilib ako sa technique ni yaya,hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Babat on June 17, 2010, 12:23:05 AM
salamat guys...nalingaw ko og katawa hahaha...
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 17, 2010, 04:49:37 AM
IDD call from the US

Husband: Hon, musta na ang tindahan?
Wife: department store na!
Husband: ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: ang trickad?
Wife: taxi na!
Husband: ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: lima na!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 17, 2010, 04:50:20 AM
Suporta

Divorced father: Anak pag-uwi mo, ibigay mo sa Nanay mo itong tseke at sabihin mo 18 years old ka na, huling theke na makukuha niya for child support, tapos tingnan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: Mommy, sabi ni Daddy ibigay ko daw sa ‘yo itong tseke, last support na niya ito sa akin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tingnan ko raw ang expression ng face mo.
Mommy: Sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya, pakisabi salamat sa suporta kahit ‘di mo siya Tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo ang expression ng face niya!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 17, 2010, 04:52:45 AM
DVD
Pedro: soli ko tong nabili kong DVD
Juan: anong problema?
Pedro: walang picture saka sound. Sayang, suspense thriller pa yata ito
Juan: anong title?
Pedro: The Lens Cleaner ;D :D :)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 17, 2010, 04:53:48 AM
Comfuter
Amo: Inday, ilipat mo nga ang comforter sa kwarto
Inday: san ko ilagay kuya?
Amo: Ipatong mo lang sa kama
Maya-maya...
Inday: andun na po. Sinama ko na rin ang frenter at iskaner...!!!
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 17, 2010, 09:48:07 AM
MISIS: Dear, iligaw mo nga tong pusa. Nakasako na.
Dalhin mo sa malayo!
MISTER: Ok!
MISIS: Bakit ka ginabi? Niligaw mo ba ang pusa?
MISTER: Bwisit na pusang yan! Kundi ko siya sinundan, di
ako nakauwi! ;D ;D ;D

blondie ba yan?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: john on June 17, 2010, 04:28:42 PM
isang araw nahuli ng anak ang magulang habang nagsesex

anak: ma bakit po tumatalbog kayo sa ibabaw ni daddy?

Ina: wla anak, pinaliliit ko lang ang tiyan ni daddy

anak: wa epek yan.. kasi hinihipan ulit ni yaya

 ;D ;D ;D


san nakakahanap ng yayang ganito lol ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 17, 2010, 04:34:01 PM
san nakakahanap ng yayang ganito lol ;D ;D ;D ;D

may alam ako taga abroad,hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 04:59:20 AM
wow 83 guest viewers hhhhmmm dagdagan natin nang new jokes beh hehehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 05:00:31 AM
Spelling

Teacher:  Miguel spell horse!
--Miguel:  H....O....
Teacher: Bilisan mo
--Miguel:  H....O....R...
Teacher:  Sabing bilisan mo
--Miguel: Ya!  Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 05:02:29 AM
GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mo ako!
BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah! GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae, magkahawak pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako!
BF: Makinig ka muna… hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka… Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko! ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 05:08:36 AM
kalikutin
Dalawang mag gf sa iisang Lugar

Bf: Mahal ko ipasok ko na ha

Gf: ok Cge Mahal ko Dahandahan ah

Bf: Ayan mahal q naipasok q na masarap ba?

Gf: Uu mahal q masarap ah ah ah nakakakiliti ako.

Bf: Ano mahal q ikut ikutin ko ha?

Gf: Cge pa masarap. . . . . . ah ah ah

Bf: yan tapos na mahal q Dami mo tutuli sa kabila nman.. . Hehehehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 29, 2010, 05:12:04 AM
IDD call from the US

Husband: Hon, musta na ang tindahan?
Wife: department store na!
Husband: ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: ang trickad?
Wife: taxi na!
Husband: ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: lima na!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
hahaha--luoya sa husband uyy, nakaginansha ug tulo ka-anak.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 29, 2010, 05:13:09 AM
Suporta

Divorced father: Anak pag-uwi mo, ibigay mo sa Nanay mo itong tseke at sabihin mo 18 years old ka na, huling theke na makukuha niya for child support, tapos tingnan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: Mommy, sabi ni Daddy ibigay ko daw sa ‘yo itong tseke, last support na niya ito sa akin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tingnan ko raw ang expression ng face mo.
Mommy: Sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya, pakisabi salamat sa suporta kahit ‘di mo siya Tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo ang expression ng face niya!
haha--pagkamaro nga mommy uyy..LOL!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 29, 2010, 05:14:00 AM
DVD
Pedro: soli ko tong nabili kong DVD
Juan: anong problema?
Pedro: walang picture saka sound. Sayang, suspense thriller pa yata ito
Juan: anong title?
Pedro: The Lens Cleaner ;D :D :)

suspense btaw nah nga salida di bah?? hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 29, 2010, 05:14:52 AM
MISIS: Dear, iligaw mo nga tong pusa. Nakasako na.
Dalhin mo sa malayo!
MISTER: Ok!
MISIS: Bakit ka ginabi? Niligaw mo ba ang pusa?
MISTER: Bwisit na pusang yan! Kundi ko siya sinundan, di
ako nakauwi! ;D ;D ;D
hahahaha--the best ni Vic!! ;D ;D :P
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 05:17:04 AM
Siopao
Kulas: Miss, pabili nga ng siopao, 'yung pang babae.
Miss: Pang babaing siopao?
Kulas: Oo, 'yung may papel na sapin. parang napkin.
Miss: Ahh, ganoon po ba? Lalaki po ang tinda ko.
Kulas: Lalaki?
Miss: Oho, may itlog sa loob! ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 05:18:51 AM
hahahaha--the best ni Vic!! ;D ;D :P
bitaw nalingaw gyud ko ani sad hahahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 05:19:53 AM
True Friends In High Limit
X: Anong pangalan ang kailangan e-repair?

Y: Si Ryan

X: Bakit Sira yan?

Y: Si Ryan nga eh

X: Ano nga ang sira?

Y: Si Ryan nga eh..ang kulit!!!

X: Si RaUlo ka!!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 05:43:14 AM
KE     
     
SM, Simpleng manyak...
Mister umuwi galing trabaho..

Misis: O bakit ka may black eye! dalawa pa
Mister: E kasi yung babae dun sa Mall eh! nanapak!
Misis: Anu ba gnawa mo?
Mister: Nakita ko kasi sya na nakaipit yung skirt nya sa gitna nang pwet nya.. yun hinila ko!
tapos sinapak ako
Misis: Nge, e bat dalawa black eye mo?
Mister: akala ko kasi gusto nya nakaipit eh kaya sinuksok ko Uli!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: SHe on June 29, 2010, 06:35:29 AM
*CURFEW*
 
Pulis 1: tanan tao taman ra 10pm. Ang mulapas pusilon!
 
Pulis 2: 9:45 paman, ug ngano imong gipusil si juan?
 
Pulis 1: Kato-od ko sa balay ato. Layo pa to! di to kaabot!  c(-8
 

Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on June 29, 2010, 06:42:25 AM
*CURFEW*
 
Pulis 1: tanan tao taman ra 10pm. Ang mulapas pusilon!
 
Pulis 2: 9:45 paman, ug ngano imong gipusil si juan?
 
Pulis 1: Kato-od ko sa balay ato. Layo pa to! di to kaabot!  c(-8
 


waaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 29, 2010, 09:50:16 AM
Siopao
Kulas: Miss, pabili nga ng siopao, 'yung pang babae.
Miss: Pang babaing siopao?
Kulas: Oo, 'yung may papel na sapin. parang napkin.
Miss: Ahh, ganoon po ba? Lalaki po ang tinda ko.
Kulas: Lalaki?
Miss: Oho, may itlog sa loob! ;D ;D

hehe--mao nah ni! ;D ;D :P
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 29, 2010, 09:51:30 AM
*CURFEW*
 
Pulis 1: tanan tao taman ra 10pm. Ang mulapas pusilon!
 
Pulis 2: 9:45 paman, ug ngano imong gipusil si juan?
 
Pulis 1: Kato-od ko sa balay ato. Layo pa to! di to kaabot!  c(-8
 
hahaha--layo2x pah diay tong nursing home ni manong Juan, She?? LOL!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 29, 2010, 09:54:45 AM
bitaw nalingaw gyud ko ani sad hahahaha
these jokes made my day Vic--woke up nga nagbuhak2x.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 29, 2010, 12:05:15 PM
*CURFEW*
 
Pulis 1: tanan tao taman ra 10pm. Ang mulapas pusilon!
 
Pulis 2: 9:45 paman, ug ngano imong gipusil si juan?
 
Pulis 1: Kato-od ko sa balay ato. Layo pa to! di to kaabot!  c(-8

faets pod uy, si juan ug ang pulis nag abot pati dinhe,hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Kristel on June 29, 2010, 08:56:07 PM
IDD call from the US

Husband: Hon, musta na ang tindahan?
Wife: department store na!
Husband: ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: ang trickad?
Wife: taxi na!
Husband: ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: lima na!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Patay! Hahaha!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 30, 2010, 01:26:24 AM
As if walang pakialam pero deep inside, worried na… miss na miss na... Pag nag-text, "So what?" daw Pero later, magre-reply rin naman. Pa-erase-erase pa ng # kunwari pero… hello… memoryado naman 'yung #. Kapag hindi tine-text ng bf/gf niya, kunwari, na-wrong send para magpapansin. Ayaw mag-text pero nagtatanong sa barkada ng bf/gf niya kung kumusta na. Haaayy… LOVE nga naman sa Pilipinas, oh… pang-adik!

nakarelate gyud ko....kadtong uyab pa mi sa akong hubby and lq-lq kuno mi kunuhay....

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 01:30:01 AM
hala sa akoa na galing lageh na quote? patay ta ani da,hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 30, 2010, 01:40:18 AM
hala sa akoa na galing lageh na quote? patay ta ani da,hahaha

mamuot ko mkhinumdom ba kadtong mag away mi and ierase nko iyng number
pero memoryado mn diay...

pero si dan kay magpa wrong send kunuhay para mapansin...hahahaha!!!!
 ;D ;D ;D ;D :P :P :P :P :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 01:47:15 AM
ana baya pod ko sauna, guilty gyud pod ko,hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on June 30, 2010, 01:47:41 AM
mamuot ko mkhinumdom ba kadtong mag away mi and ierase nko iyng number
pero memoryado mn diay...

pero si dan kay magpa wrong send kunuhay para mapansin...hahahaha!!!!
 ;D ;D ;D ;D :P :P :P :P :-* :-* :-* :-*

hahhaa..karelate ko ani dah/./.hehee
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 01:48:53 AM
hahhaa..karelate ko ani dah/./.hehee

apir ta fren
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 30, 2010, 02:02:38 AM
hahhaa..karelate ko ani dah/./.hehee

sige mo LQ-LQ ni rj diay pud zul?

 ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on June 30, 2010, 02:18:29 AM
apir ta fren

apir-apir disappear?hehhee

sige mo LQ-LQ ni rj diay pud zul?

 ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-*

lq?love quotes???hehehe.....dili ko hilig anng lg tart..gusto ko bbq..hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 30, 2010, 02:59:25 AM
apir-apir disappear?hehhee

lq?love quotes???hehehe.....dili ko hilig anng lg tart..gusto ko bbq..hehehe

ok...copy!
mao nalang na akong ibundak sa kasal ninyo puhon...
isang katirbang bbq!!!!!


 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on June 30, 2010, 03:01:14 AM
ok...copy!
mao nalang na akong ibundak sa kasal ninyo puhon...
isang katirbang bbq!!!!!


 ;D ;D ;D ;D

ahehehe..unsa mana?tag duson ra na?hahahaa
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 30, 2010, 03:03:22 AM
ahehehe..unsa mana?tag duson ra na?hahahaa

kana kay special man na nga okasyon, kanang tag 2.50.....
o diba, sosi?!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on June 30, 2010, 03:07:50 AM
kana kay special man na nga okasyon, kanang tag 2.50.....
o diba, sosi?!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-*

hehehe..labihay..50 cents ray tubo??dili pwede tag 3 nlng?hehehe..
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 10:05:44 AM
hehehe..labihay..50 cents ray tubo??dili pwede tag 3 nlng?hehehe..

ako'y dungag sa 2 pesos para tig 5 pesos na
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 02:47:08 PM
mamuot ko mkhinumdom ba kadtong mag away mi and ierase nko iyng number
pero memoryado mn diay...

pero si dan kay magpa wrong send kunuhay para mapansin...hahahaha!!!!
 ;D ;D ;D ;D :P :P :P :P :-* :-* :-* :-*
ana baya pod ko sauna, guilty gyud pod ko,hahaha
guilty bah pod koh ani--hmmmmm..hehe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 02:51:07 PM
guilty bah pod koh ani--hmmmmm..hehe!!

pati company ng SIM card nya memorize ko pa,hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 03:03:37 PM
pati company ng SIM card nya memorize ko pa,hehehe
kung pwedeh nah lng ma-amnesia lageh.LOL!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 03:20:41 PM
kung pwedeh nah lng ma-amnesia lageh.LOL!

hahaha, kakuyaw
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 03:27:49 PM
hahaha, kakuyaw
..or maybe selective memory loss nah lng, pra shodi kaayo makakurat.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 03:30:59 PM
..or maybe selective memory loss nah lng, pra shodi kaayo makakurat.hehe

kana pa siguro the best way to describe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: juan on June 30, 2010, 11:00:55 PM
hahaha--layo2x pah diay tong nursing home ni manong Juan, She?? LOL!

Oh, c'mon, here we go agn. Same old pissing contest. Can u not hear the world shouting 'BOO!'? Jus don't gve up, do u?
Can we put up another show?

*****

Been presenting a diff topic. Teasing d MG boys who haven't contracted the type M (M for marriage) measles at such a late age. Oh, well, Boom's got it. Not quite, really. Jus havin symptoms. Hope he'll get the full onslaught soon. Hahahahaha.
U're a doc. Know dis "dreaded" disease is highly contagious. Hopefully, d oders will get it soon. Hope dey haven't been immunized w/d vaccine called 'marriage-phobia'.
Remember got it at not-so-early age. Rite aft grad, 1 fren aftr anoder got it. Escape 'coz left Phil. Got it during long Phil holiday in between jobs.
Had d gd lfe aftrwrds. 3 wonderful kids. Guess dat Big Fellow up above later had diff plans for me. Made me a pissmaker against d lawmakers. Hahahahaha.

_____
"Nothing happens by chance,
everything is part of some Greater Design."

Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:13:10 PM
hahhaa..karelate ko ani dah/./.hehee
ako ka-isa lng maka-relate.hehhe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:14:13 PM
hi everyone! mikey and bamskie!!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:15:42 PM
sige mo LQ-LQ ni rj diay pud zul?

 ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-*
apir-apir disappear?hehhee

lq?love quotes???hehehe.....dili ko hilig anng lg tart..gusto ko bbq..hehehe
switching topics lageh tah karon gurl--hmmmm..likay2x but shodi kalikay ni kupido.hehe!! peace!! ;D ;D :P
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:20:32 PM
switching topics lageh tah karon gurl--hmmmm..likay2x but shodi kalikay ni kupido.hehe!! peace!! ;D ;D :P
nagpahipi pa si kupido bams...gibaid pa ang arrow kay basin deli kadulot inig igo nimu! hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:20:44 PM
hi everyone! mikey and bamskie!!!
hii Ateh Shawie--u shud hang out in this thread more often..makagamay ug tiyan kay cgeh tah katawa. ;D ;) Vic has posted a lot of really hilarious jokes--ngsakit nah akong tummy dre ug katawa uyy! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: john on June 30, 2010, 11:22:26 PM
hii Ateh Shawie--u shud hang out in this thread more often..makagamay ug tiyan kay cgeh tah katawa. ;D ;) Vic has posted a lot of really hilarious jokes--ngsakit nah akong tummy dre ug katawa uyy! ;D ;D ;D

akong tiyan ing gamay na kay nabawasan ng hangin kakatawa! ;
D ;D ;D 
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:23:06 PM
hii Ateh Shawie--u shud hang out in this thread more often..makagamay ug tiyan kay cgeh tah katawa. ;D ;) Vic has posted a lot of really hilarious jokes--ngsakit nah akong tummy dre ug katawa uyy! ;D ;D ;D
akong tiyan ing gamay na kay nabawasan ng hangin kakatawa! ;
D ;D ;D 
yes oi! naka ihi judkog katawa! hahahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:32:57 PM
Doc: Iha, mukhang pumapayat ka at hinang hina pa. Sinunod mo ba advice ko na 3 meals a day?

Girl: Diyos ko! 3 meals a day ba? Akala ko 3 males a day eh!!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:33:44 PM
 May nagpapa-translate sa akin ng signage sa tagalog: "Emergency Exit"

ang sabi ko, "MADALING LABASAN...? Tama ba? Parang bastos ata.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:34:48 PM
Sa Sauna:

 Attendant: Sir, gusto mo ng tirafi?

Guest: Anong tirafi? Baka therapy?

Attendant: Tirafi po talaga sir. After you tira me, you give me fee. uki?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:36:06 PM
Mr: Hon, buksan mo ang pinto!

Mrs: Sori, hindi pwede. Wala akong suot.

Mr. (tumawa) ok lang. Wala akong kasama.

Mrs: Ako, meron!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:36:52 PM
Tip for a long life:

Wag mo isusulat name mo sa condolence book pag dumalaw ka sa patay. Kasi pagkatapos ng libing nagkakaron ng raffle kung sinong susunod....
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:37:13 PM
akong tiyan ing gamay na kay nabawasan ng hangin kakatawa! ;
D ;D ;D 
u can say that again ffa John--as in, this is one of my fave threads..nigamay nah gyud akong bilbil..maihap nah lng! hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:37:19 PM
Guro: Pedro late kana naman.

Pedro: Late po kasi relo ko.

Guro: Problema ba yun. E di i-advance mo.

Pedro: Sige po.

Guro: Oh, saan ka pupunta?

Boy: uwian na!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:37:48 PM
Mrs: Kung alam ko lang di sana ako nagpakasal sa iyo! ABS ka!

Mr: Anong ABS?

Mrs: Alak, Babae, Sugal!!

Mr: Eh ikaw CBN!

Mrs: CBN?

Mr: Chismosa, Bungangera, Nagger!.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:38:13 PM
yes oi! naka ihi judkog katawa! hahahaha
hahaha--mgdiaper nah lng diay tah daan ani ron.hehe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:38:25 PM
Bakit binaril ng bobo ang girlfriend nya?

Kasi sinubukan nya kung totoong FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:39:11 PM
Doc: Iha, mukhang pumapayat ka at hinang hina pa. Sinunod mo ba advice ko na 3 meals a day?

Girl: Diyos ko! 3 meals a day ba? Akala ko 3 males a day eh!!!
hadloka gud ani Ateh Shawie!! hehhehe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:39:12 PM
Pasahero: Mama, dahan-dahan lang po. Alalahanin nyo na palaging nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya!

Drayber: E, kaya ko nga binibilisan para di tayo abutan!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:39:58 PM
Kasal...

Pari: Ikaw lalaki, tinatanggap mo bang maging kabiyak ang taong ito habambuhay?

Lalaki: Opo, Father!

Pari: At ikaw naman malanding pokpok kang bakla ka mukha kang kabayo, 'akala mo siguro ang ganda mo sa gown mo,'ano? Tinatangap mo ba ang lalaking ito na hindi ka magsisisi kahit magkabaon-baon ka sa utang sa pagsustento sa kanya?

Bakla: Father, sabihin nyo lang kung tutol kayo sa kasal na ito kesa naman tumalak ka diyan, naka mic ka pa nama
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:40:30 PM
May nagpapa-translate sa akin ng signage sa tagalog: "Emergency Exit"

ang sabi ko, "MADALING LABASAN...? Tama ba? Parang bastos ata.

hehhehe!!i'm tempted to post the medical terminology on this one..but basin ma-censored pah tah ni mr.admin.LOL!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:40:42 PM
hadloka gud ani Ateh Shawie!! hehhehe!!
hahahah mao na doc,tarunga jud ug explain ang pasyente ha! hahahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:41:28 PM
hehhehe!!i'm tempted to post the medical terminology on this one..but basin ma-censored pah tah ni mr.admin.LOL!
ok lang tingali bam....nag translate raman ka!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:42:11 PM
Sa Sauna:

 Attendant: Sir, gusto mo ng tirafi?

Guest: Anong tirafi? Baka therapy?

Attendant: Tirafi po talaga sir. After you tira me, you give me fee. uki?

how bout 'tiramisu' Ateh Shaw?? ::) ;D tira kah first--then mi sunod.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:42:13 PM
(sa isang turo-turo):

Customer: Manang, meh langaw sa arrozcaldo ko!

Tindera: Hello! Sa halagang P5.00 anong ini-expect mo....manok?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:42:41 PM
Tom: Alam mo pare, my new wife is a sex object!

Jerry: Wow! Maganda pala ang napangasawa mo pre!

Tom: Hindi naman. But everytime I want to have sex, she objects!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:43:08 PM
PO 1: Bakit po K-9 ang tawag sa malalaking aso, sir!

SUPT: Syempre pag tinawag mo silang K-10, hindi na sila aso

PO 1: Ano na sila sir?

SUPT: maliit na pusa...
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:43:27 PM
Bakit binaril ng bobo ang girlfriend nya?

Kasi sinubukan nya kung totoong FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES!
butangi!! hehehe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:43:36 PM
Anak: Nay, yung girlfriend ko hindi naniniwala sa langit at impierno.

Nanay: Sige, pakasalan mo anak, ipatikim mo sa kanya ang langit, ako na ang bahala sa impierno.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:43:59 PM
Isang ina ang nagsilang ng napakapangit na sanggol.

Ama: Isa syang kayamanan.

Ina: Oo, nga! Ibaon natin!......
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:44:27 PM
Pasahero: Mama, dahan-dahan lang po. Alalahanin nyo na palaging nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya!

Drayber: E, kaya ko nga binibilisan para di tayo abutan!
brayta kaayo sa driver uyy--asa man ni sha karon Ateh Shaw kay akong himoong personal driver??hehhee!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:44:27 PM
A husband asked his wife, "What do you like most in me, my macho face or my sexy body?

The wife looked at him from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor".
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:45:26 PM
A guy picks up a girl for a date.

"Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?

Girl: I promised mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt....
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:45:42 PM
Kasal...

Pari: Ikaw lalaki, tinatanggap mo bang maging kabiyak ang taong ito habambuhay?

Lalaki: Opo, Father!

Pari: At ikaw naman malanding pokpok kang bakla ka mukha kang kabayo, 'akala mo siguro ang ganda mo sa gown mo,'ano? Tinatangap mo ba ang lalaking ito na hindi ka magsisisi kahit magkabaon-baon ka sa utang sa pagsustento sa kanya?

Bakla: Father, sabihin nyo lang kung tutol kayo sa kasal na ito kesa naman tumalak ka diyan, naka mic ka pa nama
hehehe--basin ngjelly si father pod?? ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:46:49 PM
A guy picks up a girl for a date.

"Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?

Girl: I promised mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt....
pagkamaro uyy--naughteyyy!! hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 11:47:18 PM
nagpahipi pa si kupido bams...gibaid pa ang arrow kay basin deli kadulot inig igo nimu! hahaha

known man pod sya ana
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:47:25 PM
A husband asked his wife, "What do you like most in me, my macho face or my sexy body?

The wife looked at him from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor".

hahahaha--faet!! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:47:48 PM
malingaw man jud ta ani no? makawa ug problema! hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 11:48:35 PM
kung asa lageh mo naa dayun manglili,hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:49:07 PM
nagpahipi pa si kupido bams...gibaid pa ang arrow kay basin deli kadulot inig igo nimu! hahaha
murag si kupido ang magpalayo kay mahadlok maigo nako..after what i've been thru--manglabay nah koh ug bato ron ateh Shawie uyy!! hehehe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:49:50 PM
known man pod sya ana
known ug unsa hon?? hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 11:50:13 PM
known ug unsa hon?? hehe

si rj ba, di pa gyud ready
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:50:32 PM
murag si kupido ang magpalayo kay mahadlok maigo nako..after what i've been thru--manglabay nah koh ug bato ron ateh Shawie uyy!! hehehe!!
hahaha mao gyud na karon!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:51:06 PM
(sa isang turo-turo):

Customer: Manang, meh langaw sa arrozcaldo ko!

Tindera: Hello! Sa halagang P5.00 anong ini-expect mo....manok?

hot water nah lng akong paliton pra higupon uyy!! hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:52:03 PM
si rj ba, di pa gyud ready
batah pah man gud honeykins--and i agree with what he is doing..taking his time. ;) ;) 8)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:52:31 PM
malingaw man jud ta ani no? makawa ug problema! hehehe
moh leng!! hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:52:33 PM
hot water nah lng akong paliton pra higupon uyy!! hehe
hahahah mao jud! paita pudnang langaw oi! arrozcaldo with crispy langaw! hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 11:52:38 PM
batah pah man gud honeykins--and i agree with what he is doing..taking his time. ;) ;) 8)

mao pod, enjoing being a bachelor just like zuls
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:53:18 PM
batah pah man gud honeykins--and i agree with what he is doing..taking his time. ;) ;) 8)
unsang bataa gud oi! kanang nag totoy pah bah? hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:53:19 PM
hahaha mao gyud na karon!
never again--charring!! hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:54:17 PM
unsang bataa gud oi! kanang nag totoy pah bah? hehehe
medyo na-weaned off nah gamay ateh Shaw..cerelac/gerber stage nah bah.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:54:38 PM
never again--charring!! hehe
kana gyud bam pamuno na gyud ug bato,not like before nga mo cry nalang tah, sumbong sa mama! hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:55:12 PM
hahahah mao jud! paita pudnang langaw oi! arrozcaldo with crispy langaw! hehehe
..or ipalit nah lng ug iced water coz summer nah ra bah dre ug sugod.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:56:09 PM
mao pod, enjoing being a bachelor just like zuls
nice--approve koh ani hon.hehe i'll try meet up with Rj pohon in Mnla for our first EB. ;) ;) 8)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on June 30, 2010, 11:56:23 PM
medyo na-weaned off nah gamay ateh Shaw..cerelac/gerber stage nah bah.hehe
aw kahibaw na diay na mulakaw! hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:57:59 PM
kana gyud bam pamuno na gyud ug bato,not like before nga mo cry nalang tah, sumbong sa mama! hahaha
pwedeh nah bah ni ingani ka-dakua akong ibuno ateh Shaw?? ::) ;D what do u think?? hahhaa
(http://freshome.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/living-stones.jpg)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on June 30, 2010, 11:58:35 PM
aw kahibaw na diay na mulakaw! hahaha
kabalo nah--pero medyo matapilok pah pod usahay.hehehe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 30, 2010, 11:59:02 PM
nice--approve koh ani hon.hehe i'll try meet up with Rj pohon in Mnla for our first EB. ;) ;) 8)

excited na baya to kaayo
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 01, 2010, 12:00:45 AM
kung asa lageh mo naa dayun manglili,hehehe
kinsa man ning mga mahilig manglili hon?? hehe delikado diay tah ani.hehe!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 01, 2010, 12:00:46 AM
pwedeh nah bah ni ingani ka-dakua akong ibuno ateh Shaw?? ::) ;D what do u think?? hahhaa
(http://freshome.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/living-stones.jpg)
hahahaha kakuyaw naman ana oi! murag deli na kamata ug mao nay ibuno! hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 01, 2010, 12:01:09 AM
hahahaha kakuyaw naman ana oi! murag deli na kamata ug mao nay ibuno! hahaha

di pa ka gihapon kabalo mo post ug pics sha?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 01, 2010, 12:01:24 AM
excited na baya to kaayo
looking forward to finally meet him too hon..pohon! ;) ;) ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 01, 2010, 12:02:02 AM
hahahaha kakuyaw naman ana oi! murag deli na kamata ug mao nay ibuno! hahaha
makamata man cguro ghapon ateh Shaw--kung uyogon.heheh!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 01, 2010, 12:02:04 AM
di pa ka gihapon kabalo mo post ug pics sha?
deli pa lagi, mag try and try paku! hehehe ug magkita nalang mi ni roger pohon!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 01, 2010, 12:02:35 AM
deli pa lagi, mag try and try paku! hehehe ug magkita nalang mi ni roger pohon!

karon patudlo ni doc,hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 01, 2010, 12:03:19 AM
di pa ka gihapon kabalo mo post ug pics sha?
tudloan tikaw Ateh Sha karong Agusto..pra mapul-an kah cgeh post.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 01, 2010, 12:07:29 AM
tudloan tikaw Ateh Sha karong Agusto..pra mapul-an kah cgeh post.hehe
hahaha sige ha!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 01, 2010, 12:10:58 AM
karon patudlo ni doc,hehehe
here are the steps:
1. Right-click on the image u want to paste, then scroll down on the pop-out that says: 'copy image address.'
2. Click edit then paste (or, control + V) to paste the image address on the reply window/box here at the forum.
3. Highlight the entire image address that you just pasted, then click on the picture icon below the letter I (for italicized) on the special effects panel..and show thyself!! hehe
oks bah hon?? ;) ;) ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: john on July 01, 2010, 12:22:08 AM
here are the steps:
1. Right-click on the image u want to paste, then scroll down on the pop-out that says: 'copy image address.'
2. Click edit then paste (or, control + V) to paste the image address on the reply window/box here at the forum.
3. Highlight the entire image address that you just pasted, then click on the picture icon below the letter I (for italicized) on the special effects panel..and show thyself!! hehe
oks bah hon?? ;) ;) ;D

this is ideal for the Xplorer 8)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 01, 2010, 12:25:12 AM
this is ideal for the Xplorer 8)
i'm no computer wiz ffa John--maybe u can add somthing more?? ;) ;) ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: john on July 01, 2010, 12:34:50 AM
i'm no computer wiz ffa John--maybe u can add somthing more?? ;) ;) ;D

me neither ;D ;D ;D ;D
here are the steps:
1. Right-click on the image u want to paste, then scroll down on the pop-out that says: 'copy image address.'
2. Click edit then paste (or, control + V) to paste the image address on the reply window/box here at the forum.
3. Highlight the entire image address that you just pasted, then click on the picture icon below the letter I (for italicized) on the special effects panel..and show thyself!! hehe
oks bah hon?? ;) ;) ;D

for Firefox Just change lang the no. 1 instruction ni Yzabelle, right click on the picture then copy image location.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 01, 2010, 12:40:27 AM
me neither ;D ;D ;D ;D
for Firefox Just change lang the no. 1 instruction ni Yzabelle, right click on the picture then copy image location.
thanks ffa John--but wait, asa nah man tong student nato dre..nawala man.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 01, 2010, 01:02:22 AM
basin napagod na ang chicharon,hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 01, 2010, 06:45:37 PM
thanks ffa John--but wait, asa nah man tong student nato dre..nawala man.hehe
hahahah ni cutting classes ko kay mahupas unya ang chicharon! namutos ko! hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 01, 2010, 06:46:09 PM
basin napagod na ang chicharon,hehehe
hahaha wapud mike oi!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 01, 2010, 07:39:31 PM
hahaha wapud mike oi!

ikaw pa, abtik gyud
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 01, 2010, 10:47:31 PM
ikaw pa, abtik gyud
mao gyud, kinahanglan gyud nang abtik kay deli kasapi ug maglanay...hehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 01, 2010, 10:49:10 PM
mao gyud, kinahanglan gyud nang abtik kay deli kasapi ug maglanay...hehehe

ako kay abtik na sad
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 01, 2010, 11:23:27 PM
ako kay abtik na sad
hehehe kana gyud mike!!!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 01, 2010, 11:35:27 PM
hehehe kana gyud mike!!!

lisod na man gud sya
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: YzaBelle on July 02, 2010, 03:51:09 PM
hahahah ni cutting classes ko kay mahupas unya ang chicharon! namutos ko! hahaha
shodi tawn ihupas ateh Shaw kay hapit nah ra bah Agusto.hehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 03, 2010, 08:15:20 AM
shodi tawn ihupas ateh Shaw kay hapit nah ra bah Agusto.hehe
hhahaha mao gyud bam! lisud na paakon ang chicharon nga mahupas kay mura nag bubblegum! ehehehe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: marivic on July 04, 2010, 10:22:37 PM
hhahaha mao gyud bam! lisud na paakon ang chicharon nga mahupas kay mura nag bubblegum! ehehehe
mao gyud ate sha hahahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sharon ho ensong on July 05, 2010, 08:17:20 AM
more jokes pls........
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on July 05, 2010, 09:20:22 PM
Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!

Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun! ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on July 05, 2010, 09:20:56 PM
may holdapan sa loob ng jeep.

Holdaper: walang gagalaw holdap eto kunin namin lahat ng pera ninyo at lahat ng mga babae rerepin namin.

Dalaga: wag po lahat dahil kawawa naman yong matanda, si lola.

Lola: sabi na nga na lahat eh, nakikialam pa.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on July 05, 2010, 09:24:28 PM
Patient: Dok, malungkot ako dito sa mental? kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang aking sarili?

Doctor: ano naman ang laman ng sulat mo??

Patient: aba.. ewan!!! Next week ko pa matatanggap eh!!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on July 05, 2010, 09:25:32 PM
CONDOM VS NAPKIN

Condom: Alam mo napkin pag nagtrabaho ka.. 1 week akong bakante..

Napkin: tanga! pag ikaw pumalya.. 9 months akong walang benta!!

hahhaha.. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on July 05, 2010, 09:28:02 PM
PACQUIAO: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.
JINKY: Lambing mo talaga dear. Nasaan yung sweets?
PACQUIAO: Yung sweets ng ilaw. Di ako makakita...ang dilim!

 ;) ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on July 05, 2010, 09:33:20 PM
Theme song of married couples...

1 to 10 years - Araw-araw gabi-gabi
11 to 25 years - Saan ka man naroon
26 to 49 years - Gaano kadalas ang Minsan
50 years and up - Maalaala mo kaya


hehehe... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 05, 2010, 11:47:19 PM
great posting zuls,so funny
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: zulacs on July 06, 2010, 01:53:10 AM
ROMINA: Bakit kaya puro pangit ang nanliligaw saken?

JULIETA: Naku, pagtiyagaan mo na yan!
Kasi, ang mga gwapo ngayon, sila-sila na ang nagliligawan...
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: john on July 06, 2010, 03:24:46 AM
ROMINA: Bakit kaya puro pangit ang nanliligaw saken?

JULIETA: Naku, pagtiyagaan mo na yan!
Kasi, ang mga gwapo ngayon, sila-sila na ang nagliligawan...

Aduy!!!! ;D
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on July 06, 2010, 03:32:42 AM
ehehehhe
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 29, 2010, 06:51:06 AM
ROMINA: Bakit kaya puro pangit ang nanliligaw saken?

JULIETA: Naku, pagtiyagaan mo na yan!
Kasi, ang mga gwapo ngayon, sila-sila na ang nagliligawan...

medyo toto na rin to sa tanang buhay hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: b@m on September 29, 2010, 07:15:12 AM
medyo toto na rin to sa tanang buhay hahaha



ayoko nyan,,, huhuhuu 
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 30, 2010, 11:55:37 PM
ayoko nyan,,, huhuhuu 

ganun talaga ang life dida, nag iibigan na rin kami ni
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: b@m on October 01, 2010, 12:39:59 AM
kami ?nino?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on October 01, 2010, 02:20:29 PM
kami ?nino?

hahaha, sa mga friends ko
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: b@m on October 01, 2010, 02:24:19 PM
hahaha, sa mga friends ko

isali mo namn ako
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on November 24, 2010, 05:01:27 AM
keeps on popping
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Babat on December 30, 2010, 12:32:11 AM
ano ba ang nag pop?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on December 31, 2010, 05:59:07 AM
ano ba ang nag pop?

basta mahilig si yusuke noon na may pop na tunog
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: juan on March 10, 2011, 09:36:46 PM
hahaha--layo2x pah diay tong nursing home ni manong Juan, She?? LOL!

Lest we forget ...
"Bigotry and intolerance, silenced by argument, endeavors to silence by persecution, in old days by fire and sword, in modern days by the tongue."
- Charles Simmons

SHe's not entirely to blame. So, have to go thru all the hassle of spreading messages.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: juan on March 10, 2011, 09:39:44 PM
waaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha

Lest we forget ...
"Bigotry or prejudice in any form is more than a problem; it is a deep-seated evil within our society."
- Judith Light

SHe's not entirely to blame. So, have to go thru all the hassle of spreading messages.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:05:22 AM
Kung akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala ako sayo, kung akala mo namimiss kita at kung akala mo friend kita…Korek ka dyan!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:05:47 AM
Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Kasi sabi nila cute daw ako kapag naiinis ako! Kaya, Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:07:46 AM
I've just heard a funny joke. I can't stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:08:08 AM
Bakit exciting ang text? 1. Kasi pwedeng magpacute and pangit. 2. Pwedeng single ang married 3. Sa text bida ang sinungaling 4. Sa text bistado ang kuripot.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:08:20 AM
Smile is the secret to stay young and cute. Naks, bakit ka nakangiti?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:08:40 AM
What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sent this and feeling cute is the one reading this. He...He...he... Text mo sa iba para ikaw naman ang cute!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:09:15 AM
I may not be your PEPSI choice of the new generation; I may not be your COKE, only the real thing; or your NIDO, world's no. 1 but I can be your REXONA I won't let you down.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:50:54 AM
I'm thinking u. I want to be with u. I am longing for u. I have a crush on u. I want to hug and kiss u. I love u. Ikaw, love mo rin ba ang letter u?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:57:15 AM
Whenever I hear people say something bad about you, like when they say that you are not cute enough, I would always come to your defense and say "She's trying to be one naman a!" 
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:58:16 AM
The only people whom I greet "Good morning" are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:58:45 AM
You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, and you've got class. You've got the face and you've got the body but I've got the wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 10:00:12 AM
I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with two angels. Your angel is cute but mine is not, so tampo ko. I asked why cute ang angel mo. They said: "Balance of nature".
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 10:00:46 AM
How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 10:03:44 AM
Anong animal ang hindi sigurado? Eh di BAKA! Ano naman ang pinutol? E di CAT! E ano naman and laging ayos? E di OX! Ano ang laging nauuntog? E di DOG! E ano naman ang pangit? E di COW!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 10:04:30 AM
I sent an angel to watch over you last night while you were sleeping. She went back to me and said ang cute mo raw. Sinampal ko nga. Mali ang binantayan.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 10:05:02 AM
Between the thousand yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there's only one today and I wouldn't let this day pass without saying this to you - ang cute ko, grabe!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 10:05:18 AM
When I say good morning, it means I'm thinking of you. When I say take care, it means I care for you. When I say ang cute mo, antok lang ako. Tulog na ko.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 10:05:36 AM
I saw someone at the mall. So cute, smart-looking, simple, elegant, and looks like a celebrity. Kainis paglapit ko nauntog ako. Salamin pala!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:04:21 PM
Just got my medical exam results. Malala na ang sakit ko. Everyday lalo akong gumaganda at wala raw gamot dito. But don't worry, di daw nakakahawa. Safe ka.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:05:28 PM
Fifty years from now, tanda na ko nun! Di na cute, wala ng appeal, uugud-ugod, nguya nganga, dala baston. Pero pag uso pa ang text, iti text pa rin kita.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:06:40 PM
If you're like my pillow, you're huggable. If you're like my cell phone, you're smart. If you're my chocolate, you're sweet. If you're like me, grabe and cute mo naman!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:07:35 PM
You'll never know who your friends are… till you stumble and fall. And till you feel his hands on your shoulder as he says, "Yan tatanga-tanga kasi".
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:08:24 PM
If you're not cute don't continue reading this.... Naks! yan ang gusto ko sayo eh, lakas ng fighting spirit mo! O pumipindot pa! Lupit mo! 
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:10:46 PM
Newsflash: Policemen saving a woman who appears to be jumping off a building.
Policeman: Bumaba ka dyan maraming nagmamahal sa yo!
Woman: Wag kayo makialam, di ako makapag -send!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:11:03 PM
If only I'm an angel, I'll protect you. I'll lend you my wings. I'll watch over you. But I'm not an angel, hawig lang.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:11:23 PM
When a veteran actor dies, women weep. When a young actor dies, girls cry, "Sayang!"
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:11:49 PM
I don't know how to say this. We are friends but I can't get you out of my mind. This is wrong but you're the only one I could think of. This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:12:50 PM
Kahit NISSAN ka STAREX ka ng buhay ko, masKIAnong mangyari, HONDA kitang pagMAZDAn at SUZUmpang SUZUKIlian ka ng buong katapatan. DODGE what friends are FORD!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:13:34 PM
What do you do when you see an extremely cute person? Ako, I stare at the person and smile, but when I get tired, I just put the mirror down. Nakakangawit eh!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:14:47 PM
No one is too fat to run, except the Pinoy policeman.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:15:12 PM
Help! Nasa presinto ako. Nahuli kasi ako while I was working kanina. The charge was possession of cute face. I had no choice but plead guilty. Lakas ng ebidensya nila e!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:15:52 PM
How to spot a texter? 1. may muscle ang thumb 2. barok magsalita 3. may bangga ang auto 4. laging nakayuko 5. nakasimangot dahil di makasend.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:16:15 PM
Five reasons why I keep texting you: 1. You made me feel welcomed 2. You made me smile 3. You appreciate my thoughts 4. You spend time reading my messages 5. Di ako kuripot tulad mo!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:16:48 PM
When you feel left out and all alone, just try to close your eyes for a moment and think of me. Afterwards, you will suddenly smile and say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:17:13 PM
Ang ganda ng umaga because of you. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about you. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro you na lang ng you. Sabi ni doc, maybe because I miss you.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:17:29 PM
When she talks about the town, she calls it news. When the town talks about her, she calls it 'tsismis'.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:17:59 PM
I looked at the sky. The sky is beautiful. I looked at you. I looked at the sky na lang ulit. 
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:19:07 PM
Some people choose friends who are thoughtful and caring. Some prefer those who are smart and good looking. When you chose me, pinakyaw mo na lahat.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:20:14 PM
I live a very difficult life. I'm always hurt! Whenever people call me cute, good looking, smart and lovable, I'm always hurt! Totoo pala, the truth hurts!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 01:20:35 PM
I asked my guardian angel for a friend whom I can love forever. She gave me you. And so I called on her again and asked: "Wala na bang iba?"
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 11:42:59 PM
I'm not sure what life could bring you. I'm not sure if dreams do come true. I'm not sure what love can do. But I'm sure about one thing. Cute tayo.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 11:43:27 PM
Let go of the one who makes you cry. Let go of the one who breaks your heart. Let go of the one who causes you much pain. But never let go of me because mahirap maghanap ng cute na ka-text.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 11:43:45 PM
People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 11:44:59 PM
If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit it, cute pa rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi cute ako. Pero kung ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong cute ako.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: jomargatz on May 17, 2011, 11:52:50 PM
If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit it, cute pa rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi cute ako. Pero kung ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong cute ako.
Hahah! Tama!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 11:53:23 PM
When I was lost, you were there. When I was down, you were there. When I was bankrupt, you were there. When I almost died, you were there... Teka, baka ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 12:02:19 AM
Nasa bundok ka, mahuhulog cell phone mo at girlfriend mo, anong gagawin mo? Magpakatotoo ka brother! Sagipin mo ang cell phone mo at sigaw mo sa girlfriend mo, text na lang kita!.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 12:05:06 AM
Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 12:05:30 AM
I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand but the water washed it away. I wrote your name every where! Hinuli ako ng pulis!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 12:06:24 AM
At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping, 2.3 million are falling in love, 4.1 million are eating and only 1 cutie in the whole world is reading this message. Naks! Nakangiti na yan!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 06:00:51 PM
The nicest place these days is right beside your friends. Usog konti, tabi ako!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 06:01:06 PM
You brighten my day, di ka naman araw. You light up my life, di ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, di ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, di ka naman sabaw. Friend kita, yan malinaw!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 06:10:08 PM
Friends are like mangga... you'll never know which is sweet and which is not. Well I'm lucky coz I was able to find the sweetest mangga in you!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on May 18, 2011, 06:24:22 PM
Gusto ko na benta cell phone ko... lam mo ba? Gusto ko hagis, durugin at tadyakan ang cell phone ko... lam mo ba? Gusto ko na panakaw to... lam mo ba? Maloloka na ko sa pag-iintay ng text mo... lam mo ba?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 12, 2011, 08:35:26 AM
Dapat ang pagpili ng mga KAIBIGAN, alinsunod sa batas ng WASTE SEGREGATION:

1. IBUKOD ang PLASTIK
2. IHIWALAY ang BULOK sa DI NABUBULOK .
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: gee_17 on September 12, 2011, 09:31:05 AM
anak: tay,ano po ibig sbhn ng sex?
Ama: ang sex ay isang ritwal na gnagawa ng mgkasintahan o mag asawa.yan ay pagpapahwatig ng pagmamahal sa isat isa at nkagagawa ng bunga ng pagmamahalan
 
Anak: ang haba naman ng meaning . Kasya kya yan sa biodata?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: felix on September 12, 2011, 10:46:28 PM
anak: tay,ano po ibig sbhn ng sex?
Ama: ang sex ay isang ritwal na gnagawa ng mgkasintahan o mag asawa.yan ay pagpapahwatig ng pagmamahal sa isat isa at nkagagawa ng bunga ng pagmamahalan
 
Anak: ang haba naman ng meaning . Kasya kya yan sa biodata?
hihihi nice one
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 15, 2011, 12:11:33 AM
Ang isang relasy0n ay hnd bnubuo ng isang lib0ng pangako o isang lib0ng K0NDISY0N. . Ito ay pinatatatag ng dalawang klase ng Tao. . Isang marun0ng MAGTIWALA at isang marun0ng UMUNAWA!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 15, 2011, 10:07:25 AM
“Sometimes you have to give up everything, not because of love, but because of hold up.”
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 15, 2011, 10:44:53 AM
Night is a wonderful opportunity to take rest, to forgive, to dream, to smile and to get ready for all the battle that you have to fight tomorrow. In other words, I saw a shooting star.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 15, 2011, 10:18:39 PM
Boy: Dry ng Lips mo ahh.
Girl: Talaga?

Boy: haLika nga dito para di mag dry.
Girl: Weh? Baka Halikan mo ako?

Boy: GAGA! lalagyan ko lang ng Lipstick
KALOKA!! ambisyosang to!! tseee!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: felix on September 16, 2011, 09:57:53 PM
Night is a wonderful opportunity to take rest, to forgive, to dream, to smile and to get ready for all the battle that you have to fight tomorrow. In other words, I saw a shooting star.
nice one
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Babat on September 18, 2011, 09:43:12 PM
I saw someone at the mall. So cute, smart-looking, simple, elegant, and looks like a celebrity. Kainis paglapit ko nauntog ako. Salamin pala!


hahaha, ikaw nga
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: felix on September 18, 2011, 09:56:19 PM

hahaha, ikaw nga
hihihi
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on February 09, 2012, 01:09:33 AM
FUNNY PICK-UP LINES

boy: lamok ka ba?
girl: bakit?
boy: kasi sinisipsip mo ang pagmamahal ko ehh...
(bumawi si girl)
girl: kanal ka ba?
boy: bakit?
girl: kasitanga lang ang mahuhulog seo...
boy: ahhh ganun?!
... alam mo manununtok ako ng maganda...
girl: o sige! suntukin mo ako..
boy: bakit ko nman gagawin un?!...
maganda ka ba?...
tama...hahahahahahahahahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on February 10, 2012, 04:42:52 AM
FUNNY PICK-UP LINES

boy: lamok ka ba?
girl: bakit?
boy: kasi sinisipsip mo ang pagmamahal ko ehh...
(bumawi si girl)
girl: kanal ka ba?
boy: bakit?
girl: kasitanga lang ang mahuhulog seo...
boy: ahhh ganun?!
... alam mo manununtok ako ng maganda...
girl: o sige! suntukin mo ako..
boy: bakit ko nman gagawin un?!...
maganda ka ba?...
tama...hahahahahahahahahaha

hahaha! ang ifnoc kasi ng gurl ha...
wehehehehe!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on February 10, 2012, 11:10:04 AM
hahaha! ang ifnoc kasi ng gurl ha...
wehehehehe!
may mga ganun siguro gaya ni Archee Flores
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: juan on December 25, 2012, 03:54:27 PM
waaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaha
Just want to say a belated"Merry Christmas". Hope you're keeping well. :) ;)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: juan on December 25, 2012, 04:00:06 PM
*CURFEW*
 
Pulis 1: tanan tao taman ra 10pm. Ang mulapas pusilon!
 
Pulis 2: 9:45 paman, ug ngano imong gipusil si juan?
 
Pulis 1: Kato-od ko sa balay ato. Layo pa to! di to kaabot!  c(-8
 


Juan is still alive and kicking. How about you? Belated Merry Christmas! :) ;)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on December 25, 2012, 11:44:29 PM
natawa ako lately
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: Babat on December 26, 2012, 12:30:44 AM
FUNNY PICK-UP LINES

boy: lamok ka ba?
girl: bakit?
boy: kasi sinisipsip mo ang pagmamahal ko ehh...
(bumawi si girl)
girl: kanal ka ba?
boy: bakit?
girl: kasitanga lang ang mahuhulog seo...
boy: ahhh ganun?!
... alam mo manununtok ako ng maganda...
girl: o sige! suntukin mo ako..
boy: bakit ko nman gagawin un?!...
maganda ka ba?...
tama...hahahahahahahahahaha

Hahaha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on December 26, 2012, 12:44:48 AM
Hahaha

di ba confident si girlaloosh?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on April 12, 2013, 10:34:41 PM
Had a wonderful lunch date with a good friend who I haven't seen in such a long time ( 3 days) hahaha. We started catching up and discussing serious issues about life. What's funny about it was that our exchanges were all done via texting. What made it even funnier is that we live in the same city. ;-) — Miss you Kevin!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on April 16, 2013, 11:41:58 PM
FACEJOKE:
NOON: ang mga gwapo, tinitilian!
NGAYON: ang mga gwapo .. tumitili na dhiiiiiiin! toink!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: sweets on April 17, 2013, 04:18:12 AM
Had a wonderful lunch date with a good friend who I haven't seen in such a long time ( 3 days) hahaha. We started catching up and discussing serious issues about life. What's funny about it was that our exchanges were all done via texting. What made it even funnier is that we live in the same city. ;-) — Miss you Kevin!

Sweeta!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on April 17, 2013, 10:02:33 AM
Sweeta!
nag text na mag scooter daw kami kaya hayun sumakay ako at hindi ako natakot, you know why?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on February 20, 2017, 10:43:41 PM
BF: Tara dun tayo sa dilim, sa Damuhan.
GF: Bakit? Anong gagawin natin dun?.
BF: Basta sunod ka lang ako bahala!
GF: Sige, sabi mo yan ahh!
(Pagdating sa dilim)
GF: oh? Anu na gagawin natin ?
Bf: Basta wag ka matakot,mabilis lang
naman to eh.
GF: Bakit ka naghuhubad
Bf: Huwag ka maingay baka may
makakita satin!
GF: Ahmmm, maghuhubad rin ba ako?
BF: Bakit? Tatae ka rin ba?
Hanap ka ng pwesto mo, nauna ako
dito

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on March 27, 2017, 05:11:37 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 05, 2017, 05:33:01 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 07, 2017, 09:07:03 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on April 11, 2017, 07:29:57 AM
TOTOY: Bakit hindi mo ako mahalin Inday? Age doesn’t matter naman eh, ano ba kung 13 ako at 23 ka na, tuli na ako Inday.

INDAY: Ang pag-ibig ko Totoy ay naglalaman ng maseselang tema, lengguwahe, karahasan, seksual at droga na hindi angkop sa mga bata..


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 11, 2017, 08:52:01 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 11, 2017, 08:52:51 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on April 12, 2017, 08:54:42 AM
INA: anak, nagtataas ka naman ba ng kamay mo pag nagtatanong teacher mo.

ANAK: oo naman ma, tulad kanina ako lang nagtaas ng kamay.

INA: (nasayahan) galing naman ng anak ko. ano ba tinanong niya?

ANAK: tinanong niya kung sino sa mga nanay daw ang nagsusugal..


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on April 12, 2017, 08:02:01 PM
boommmm!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 14, 2017, 03:15:53 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 14, 2017, 03:16:21 AM
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Title: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on April 14, 2017, 08:42:32 AM
ANAK:Tay ano mgandang ibigay s nililigawan ko?
TATAY: Ano bang itsura nya?!
ANAK: Cyempre mgAnda, mAputi, mkinis, mbango, sexy, masarap po tay humalik!
Tatay: Ibigay mo number ko!:D


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on April 16, 2017, 09:02:06 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 18, 2017, 07:47:10 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on April 18, 2017, 08:44:49 PM
aw..hahahha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 23, 2017, 06:48:39 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on April 30, 2017, 12:26:35 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 02, 2017, 06:22:32 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 05, 2017, 07:22:31 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 08, 2017, 02:12:18 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on May 08, 2017, 03:19:56 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on May 08, 2017, 11:48:49 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 14, 2017, 05:52:28 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on May 15, 2017, 02:39:04 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 19, 2017, 02:07:00 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 20, 2017, 08:08:55 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on May 21, 2017, 06:48:20 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 25, 2017, 03:04:54 AM
PANLILIGAW JOKE

Nagkasabay ang AIR FORCE, NAVY, PULIS, MARINES, at SCOUT RANGER sa bahay ng nililigawan nilang dalaga at habang inaantay nila ang dalaga nakausap nila ang nanay ng dalaga:

AIR FORCE: Sagutin lang ako ng anak nyo nay ililipad ko sya sa ulap.

NAVY: Sagutin lang ako ng anak nyo nay ipapasyal ko sya sa lahat ng karagatan ng bansa natin.

PULIS: Pag ako sinagot ng anak nyo nay masisiguro ko na magiging masagana ang buhay nya.

MARINES: Matatapang kaming mga Marines nay masisiguro ko ang kaligtasan ng anak nyo kasi kami ang First to fight, last to leave!

SCOUT RANGER: Syanga pala nay saan po pala ang anak nyo?

NANAY: Hay naku! Mga ginoo naunahan na kayo, tinanan na kagabi ng SEKYU sa kanto! Gusto kasi ng anak ko dun sa taong secure sya.


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on May 25, 2017, 08:57:56 PM
Teacher: ok class, only Juan got 99/100...
Juan: oha! Ano kau ngaun?! Mamundok nlang kau!
Magtanim nlang kau ng kamote mga bobo!
Mga walang pnag aralan, mga ubod ng tanga!
Bkit hndi p kau mgpakamatay?!

Teacher: the rest got 100..
.basag. .wahaha.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 28, 2017, 04:01:33 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: erika on May 29, 2017, 12:24:17 AM
Boy: alam ko may no. 2 ka! aminim mo na!
 Girl: wala akong no. 2! maniwala ka!
Boy: wag ka ng magdeny! nakita ko eh!
Girl: ang kulit! wala nga sabi eh!
(eksena ng dalawang estudyanteng nagkokopyahan)
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on May 29, 2017, 01:03:03 AM
hahahah
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on May 29, 2017, 05:55:26 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 01, 2017, 04:08:39 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 10, 2017, 03:37:47 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 13, 2017, 10:32:37 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on June 19, 2017, 05:06:34 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on June 20, 2017, 02:31:02 AM
oiiiiiiiiissstttttt?
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on July 19, 2017, 04:34:16 PM
Joke Time
BOY: ang GWAPO ko TALAGA!
GIRL: oo. Parang password mo!
BOY: huh? bkit?!
GIRL: ikaw lang ang nkakaalam!
-
hahaha....

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on July 21, 2017, 12:15:57 AM
hahahah naman oo
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on July 31, 2017, 11:39:33 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 03, 2017, 05:52:56 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 05, 2017, 05:27:51 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on August 06, 2017, 10:31:07 AM
Kung hindi ka kayang suklian ng taong minamahal mo, ay cguro wala talaga siyang barya kaya huwag kang magbibigay ng buo.

Mag tagay nalang!

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 08, 2017, 04:33:15 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 12, 2017, 03:07:57 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on August 17, 2017, 10:06:55 AM
CAMP SAWI - pagdurusa, pagluluksa, walang hanggang kalungkutan - pagtalon sa kawalan.

#MalanganTaAni

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on August 18, 2017, 12:59:05 AM
Sa isang Museum..
Juan: Ito bang pangit na 'to ang tinatawag nyo na "ART"?! Ang pangit, nakakasuka! Painting ba to?
Guide: Hindi po sir, salamin yan! Hahaha!

hahaha repost!
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 18, 2017, 05:10:03 AM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 24, 2017, 09:59:54 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on August 25, 2017, 01:39:51 AM
tsaddddaaahhhh
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 25, 2017, 07:46:24 PM
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170826/2f626b0b575e16bf3bc60e3ecba2587e.jpg)


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on August 29, 2017, 07:31:05 PM
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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 07, 2017, 02:41:11 AM
Kanina habang nag lalakad ako nalaglagan ako ng mangga sa ulo ko. Ang sakit pala, kaso hindi ko alam kung sino sa'min ang mas nasaktan. Siya na nahulog pero walang sumalo o ako na napilitang sumalo kahit hindi ko gusto.

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 07, 2017, 02:53:48 AM
Reporter: Sir, mainterview ko lang po kayo saglit tungkol sa mga kalabaw niyo.
Farmer: Okie
Reporter: San niyo po sila pinapaliguan?
Farmer:Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: Yung itim po.
Farmer: Ah, Sa sapa yung itim
Reporter: E yung puti?
Farmer: Sa sapa rin.
Reporter: (tumaas ang kilay) ah ganon po ba. Ano naman po pinapakain niyo sa kalabaw niyo?
Farmer: Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: Yunng itim po
Farmer: Ah, damo
Reporter: Eh yung puti po?
Farmer: Damo rin
Reporter:(medyo napipikon na) E san niyo naman po sila pinapatulog?
Farmer: Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: yung itim!
Farmer: sa ilalim ng puno
Reporter: e Yung puti???!
Farmer: Sa ilalim din ng puno.
Reporter: (di na maitago ang inis) Bakit mo pa tinatanong kung itim o puti e parehas lang naman ang sagot mo?!
Farmer: ah, kasi yung itim na kalabaw sa akin kasi yon.
Reporter: E yung puti kanino?
Farmer: Sa akin din.

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on September 07, 2017, 02:58:30 AM
Si Juan at Pedro nag-apply ng trabaho)
Interviewer: Anong pangalan ng ating President..??
Juan: Rodrigo Duterte..
Interviewer: Kailan na Discover ang
Philippines..??
Juan: March 15,1586..
Interviewer: Anong taon nag simula ang pangalawang digmaan..?
Juan: 1942 po..
Interviewer: Nag ka GF kanaba..?
Juan: Opo dati pa...
Pedro: Juan ano ang mga tanong..??
Juan: Basta ito lang sasabihin mo..
Rodrigo Duterte..
March15,1586..
1942..
Opo dati pa..
Interviewer: Next..
Interviewer: Ano pangalan mo ..??
Pedro: Rodrigo Duterte..
Interviewer: (Nag taka) kailan ka pinanganak..??
Pedro: March15,1586..
Interviewer: (Pikon na pikon) Pang ilan ka sa mag kakapatid..??
Pedro: 1942 po..
Interviewer: Abnormal kaba.. ?
Pedro: Opo dati pa..
-joker

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on September 09, 2017, 12:31:02 AM
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170909/ff64f4b05cb96c7df74db15e22205608.jpg)


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on October 02, 2017, 11:21:34 PM
BAKLA yata ako ???? Kasi kanina habang nag lalakad ako , may nakita akong LALAKI. Simple lang tapos sobrang GWAPO nya lalo nung ngumiti ???? Tapos ang cute nya sobra. ???? Di ko alam pero napatitig ako sa kanya. ???? Tapos siya rin napatitig saken. ????
Tapos nung lumalapit ako, nagulat ako lumalapit din siya. ???????? Kinakabahan na ako kasi sobrang cute nya talaga. ???? Tapos nung sobrang lapit ko na sa kanya, bigla ako nauntog. ???????????? Salamin lang pala. ????????

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on October 03, 2017, 10:26:40 PM
Multo 1: Hoy! Pre
Multo 2: Oh?
Multo 1: Bago ka naging multo ano ikinamatay mo?
Multo 2: Nalock ako sa refrigerator, nung una pachill chill lang ako, pero nung tumagal unti unti nakong naninigas sa lamig hanggang sa nasuffocate at tuluyan nakong hindi makahinga.
Multo 1: Grabeng trahedya naman nangyari sayo brad.
Multo 2: Eh, ikaw ba pre ano kinamatay mo?
Multo 1: Inatake ako sa puso pre.
Multo 2: Bat ano ba nangyare?
Multo 1: May kabit yung misis ko, pag uwi ko ng bahay may nakita akong pares ng sapatos ng lalaki, nagmadali ako pumunta ng kwarto ni misis. Nakita ko siya na nakahubad at kinakabahan. Kaya hinalughog ko ang buong bahay, sa ibang kwarto, cabinet, cr, kusina, kisame, ilalim ng kama. Pero wala akong nakita. Sa sobrang pagod ko kakahanap sumikip dibdib ko doon ako na'heart attack...
Multo 2: NAPAKATANGA MO!!! Kung binuksan mo at uminom ka muna sana ng malamig na tubig edi sana parehas pa tayong buhay


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: tart on October 05, 2017, 04:21:31 PM
Wahahahaha!!


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on January 18, 2018, 08:11:14 AM
Gf: babe, punta ka ngayon sa bahay?
Bf: oo babe! Punta na ako  dyan bihis lang ako saglit.
Gf: okay babe, pero di ako pwede ngayon ha, d pa kasi tapos mens ko. Baka mag expect ka, sinabihan lang kita.
Bf: ay babe! Sira pala motor ko, nakalimotan kong sabihin saiyo. Kanina lang nasira pag-uwi galing office.
Gf: pahatid ka nalang sa kaibigan mo, ganyan naman ginagawa mo dati pag masira motor mo.
Bf: ay babe, nasa hospital kaibigan ko. Nabaril daw cya kahapon. Next time nalang ako punta dyan.
Gf: ikaw bahala babe. Sayang, biniro lang naman sana kita, tapos na mens ko kahapon pa. Cge babe tolog na ako ha? Good night!
Bf: babe papunta na kami dyan, nakalabas na pala ng hospital kaibigan ko. See you later! Mmmmmmwah2x!
Gf: cge babe ingat kayo ha, pero wag kang magalit ha, d pa talaga tapos babe. Biniro lang kita na wala na, gusto ko lang kasi kita makita.
Bf: nako babe! Binaril na naman kaibigan ko!

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on January 18, 2018, 08:14:01 AM
Sa bus. Nagpapa-dede ang isang Misis
MISIS: (galit) kung ayaw mong dumede,ibibigay ko 'to sa lalakeng
katabi ko !
After 20 minutes, ayaw pa din dumede
ang bata.
MISIS: (mas lalong nagalit)
Ayaw
 mong dumede, huh? Ibibigay ko na
talaga 'to dito sa lalakeng katabi ko !
LALAKE: Misis, kailangan mo nang
magdesisyon. kanina pa ako dapat
Bumaba, eh.????

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on January 18, 2018, 08:18:28 AM
STUDENT: Sir can i have a question?
Teacher: Yes!
Student: how do u put an elephant inside a fridge?
Teacher: i dont know
Student: its easy you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!
Teacher: okay ask!
Student: how to put a donkey inside the fridge??
Teacher: It's easy you just open the fridge and put it in.
Student: No sir! You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in.
Teacher: ohhh.. Ok!
Student: let me ask another one, If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?
Teacher: the Lion ofcourse! Bcoz it wud eat all the animals.
Student: No sir, it is the donkey bcoz its still inside the fridge.
Teacher: are you kidding me?!
Student: no sir! One last question.
Teacher: ok!!
Student: If there's a river full of crocodiles  and you wanted to cross, how would you?
Teacher: There's no way, i would need a boat to cross.
Student: No sir, you just swim and cross it bcoz all the animals went to the lion's birthday party! ????????????

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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on January 18, 2018, 10:27:21 PM
Reporter: Sir, mainterview ko lang po kayo saglit tungkol sa mga kalabaw niyo.
Farmer: Okie
Reporter: San niyo po sila pinapaliguan?
Farmer:Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: Yung itim po.
Farmer: Ah, Sa sapa yung itim
Reporter: E yung puti?
Farmer: Sa sapa rin.
Reporter: (tumaas ang kilay) ah ganon po ba. Ano naman po pinapakain niyo sa kalabaw niyo?
Farmer: Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: Yunng itim po
Farmer: Ah, damo
Reporter: Eh yung puti po?
Farmer: Damo rin
Reporter:(medyo napipikon na) E san niyo naman po sila pinapatulog?
Farmer: Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: yung itim!
Farmer: sa ilalim ng puno
Reporter: e Yung puti???!
Farmer: Sa ilalim din ng puno.
Reporter: (di na maitago ang inis) Bakit mo pa tinatanong kung itim o puti e parehas lang naman ang sagot mo?!
Farmer: ah, kasi yung itim na kalabaw sa akin kasi yon.
Reporter: E yung puti kanino?
Farmer: Sa akin din.

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hahahaha sobrang tawa ko nito sa Bubble Gang...
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on June 27, 2018, 09:50:39 PM
Si kuya nakapulot ng wallet sa ROBINSONS kaninang hapon na may 30k pesos mahigit na laman. Sinubukan niya isauli sa customer service kaso ayaw tanggapin akala ata nagbibiro sya. Tapos, sinubukang kong sundan si kuya kung anong gagawin, aba! bumili ng bagong phone gamit yung perang napulot nya. Ito yung panalo, so habang gamit niya yung bagong nyang phone, panay ang tap niya sa screen .... See More

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180628/d866d4395054c8b72204363bb0a0f62e.jpg)


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Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: wardiflex on June 27, 2018, 10:40:05 PM
ayon oh... hahahha
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on November 29, 2018, 09:09:27 AM
totoo yan. nung natulog ako tas pagkagising ko I took a shower and I went on my way I stopped there as usual Had a coffee and pie When I turned to leave I couldn't believe my eyes Standing there I didn't know what to say Without one touch we stood there face to face And I was dying inside to hold you I couldn't believe what I felt for you Dying inside, I was dying inside But I couldn't bring myself to touch you
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on December 18, 2018, 04:59:29 PM
Hwahaha langya! Matinde yan.. pero alam nyo ba na nung High school yang si Hulyo, isang araw ay pinatawag ng guro ang kanyang ina..

GURO: misis sayang lang ang pera nyo sa pagpapaaral kay Hulyo! ang bobo talaga!mabuti pa pahintuin nyo na sya!
.
nainsulto ang nanay ni hulyo. Pagdating muli ng pasukan ay inenroll nya ito sa ALMIETA,isang eksklusibong paaralan
.
10taon ang lumipas ay ngkatumor ang dating guro ni Hulyo. kailangan syang operahan at wla ng makakagawa pa nito kundi ang mga magagaling na doktor lang na graduate sa ALMIETA
.
naging matagumpay ang operasyon. Pagdilat ng guro ay bumungad sa knya ang isang makisig na lalake na nakatingin sa isang aparatu na nakakabit sa knya.nagulat ang guro. ilang sandali pa ay pinilit nyang magsalita ngunit hindi nya magawa. Pilit din nyang inaangat ang kanyang mga kamay para hawakan sana ang lalake ngunit di nya pa kaya.ilng minuto pa ay namutla nalang at namatay ang guro
.
nag imbestiga ang pamunuan ng hospital at nalaman nila na natanggal pala ng janitor na si hulyo ang ventilator at plug ng oxygen dahil nag charge ito ng knyang cellphone 😂
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on December 18, 2018, 05:05:30 PM
Grabe!!! kanina sa 7-11 bumibili ako ng ice cream nadaanan ko yung isang babae na parang hindi mapakali. Napansin ko nung bigla niyang nilagay sa bag niya yung isang bote ng shampoo. Siyempre ako, nagkukunwaring hindi siya nakita. Patay-malisya lang. Napansin ko din na tinitignan din pala siya ng guard at kausap yung kahero. Paglingon ko, nakita ko na naman yung babae na may nilagay na dalawang bote ng Vitamilk sa bag tapos papunta na sa exit.
Hinarang sya ng guard at kinausap
Guard: Miss, paki-balik na lang yung mga kinuha mo para walang problema
Babae: Ano pinagsasasabi mo?
Guard: Wag ka na magmaang-maangan. Ibalik mo na lang kasi.
Babae: Grabe ka na ha!
Nagtaas na ng boses yung babae. Kaming ibang customer sa loob nakaabang anung mangyayari.
Babae: Sige, kulitin mo pa ko at magsisisigaw ako dito!
Guard: Sumigaw ka kung gusto mo. Ikaw naman mapapahiya.
Babae: Wag mo kong pipilitin! Sisigaw talaga ko!
Guard: Bahala ka.
At sumigaw nga ang babae.
Babae: DARNAAAA!!!
At lumipad siya palabas ng 7-11. Gulantang kami. Nabitawan ko yung binili kong ice cream
Sumigaw din yung guard.
Guard: CAPTAIN BARBEEEEL!!!
Lumipad din siya at hinabol yung babae.
Hanggang ngayon, wala pang balita kung ano nangyari sa kanila.
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on December 18, 2018, 05:06:59 PM
Si kuya nakapulot ng wallet sa ROBINSONS kaninang hapon na may 30k pesos mahigit na laman. Sinubukan niya isauli sa customer service kaso ayaw tanggapin akala ata nagbibiro sya. Tapos, sinubukang kong sundan si kuya kung anong gagawin, aba! bumili ng bagong phone gamit yung perang napulot nya. Ito yung panalo, so habang gamit niya yung bagong nyang phone, panay ang tap niya sa screen .... See More
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on December 21, 2018, 05:48:11 PM
Reporter: Sir, mainterview ko lang po kayo saglit tungkol sa mga kalabaw niyo.
Farmer: Okie
Reporter: San niyo po sila pinapaliguan?
Farmer:Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: Yung itim po.
Farmer: Ah, Sa sapa yung itim
Reporter: E yung puti?
Farmer: Sa sapa rin.
Reporter: (tumaas ang kilay) ah ganon po ba. Ano naman po pinapakain niyo sa kalabaw niyo?
Farmer: Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: Yunng itim po
Farmer: Ah, damo
Reporter: Eh yung puti po?
Farmer: Damo rin
Reporter:(medyo napipikon na) E san niyo naman po sila pinapatulog?
Farmer: Yung itim o yung puti?
Reporter: yung itim!
Farmer: sa ilalim ng puno
Reporter: e Yung puti???!
Farmer: Sa ilalim din ng puno.
Reporter: (di na maitago ang inis) Bakit mo pa tinatanong kung itim o puti e parehas lang naman ang sagot mo?!
Farmer: ah, kasi yung itim na kalabaw sa akin kasi yon.
Reporter: E yung puti kanino?
Farmer: Sa akin din. 😂😂😂
Title: Re: Tagalog Funny Jokes Text Messages
Post by: OMG on February 22, 2021, 07:32:31 AM
Hindi muna ako gagamit ng timbangan(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210222/681388f69ea012b119deddb9e5d6d82a.jpg)

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