Connect Mikey Gatal
WELCOME FRIENDS TO MIKEY GATAL'S WORLD => FUN GAMES WITH YOUR FRIENDS => Topic started by: devildawg on July 26, 2009, 02:57:30 PM
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Warning: Patnubay ng magulang ay kailangan.
TITSER: ang pangit naman ng name mo. Conrado Domingo!
in short CONDOM! :o :-[
PUPIL: Ok lang po yun Maam! Kaysa naman po sa asawa
niyo. Supremo Potenciano! In short SUPOT! ;D
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MOKONG: Andoy, balita ko hiwalay na kayo ng gf mo? :(
ANDOY: Oo pare,pakiramdam ko balak maging Astronaut eh.
MOKONG: Pano mo naman nasabi?
ANDOY: Kasi lagi niyang sinasabi... I NEED SPACE! ???
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A lady was married 3 times, was widowed 3 times and had 30 kids. At her wake....
PRIEST: At last they're finally together.
FRIEND: With which husband father?
PRIEST: Uh, i mean her LEGS! ;D
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ANAK: 'tay, totoo po bang may multo?
TATAY: anak, walang multo, kathang isip lang mga yan. Eh
bakit mo naman naitanong?
ANAK: sabi kasi ni yaya merong multo.
TATAY: anak, langya ka lumapit ka dito sa tabi ko. Huwag
kang magbibiro ng ganyan.........ala tayong yaya. (ahoooo!) :o :o
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Mga pagbabago...
Noon, pag maganda ligawan mo na agad,
Ngayon, pag maganda titigan mo muna maigi baka bakla, ???
Noon, konti lang ang lalaking guwapo,
Ngayon, konting guwapo lang ang tunay na lalaki,
Noon, pag guwapo babaero,
Ngayon, pati mga panget babaero na din! :o :o (putris)
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Court scene...
LAWYER 1: You idiot, @$$ho!e! >:(
LAWYER 2: Tanga ka, gago! >:(
JUDGE: As both parties have been properly identified, we may now proceed with
the case! (tok tok)
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LOLO: Hay buhay. Noong araw sa SM pay may P20 ako, pag uwi ko meron akong polo,
maong, brip, tshirt, panyo, medyas, may sinturon pa.
APO: Eh ngayon po lolo?
LOLO: Mahirap na apo, may surveillance camera na SM!
(haay, very depressing :()
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GIRL: Pa'no ko po ba malalaman kung sex maniac ako? :-[
DOC: Ay madali lang yan iha, May mga test tayong gagawin pero una sa lahat.
Bitiwan mo muna ang !t1og ko kasi nakikiliti ako eh. ;D ;D
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The Philippines is over populated because:
-- ayaw ng birth control
-- walang death penalty
-- dami jobless kaya babad kama
-- dami lasing kaya lahat ng misis maganda. (sus kaya pala) ;D ;D
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Anak galing sa school.
ANAK: 'Tay, kasali po ako sa aming school drama. Ang role
ko po ay "husband".
TATAY: Malas mo naman, anak. Wala kang speaking part.
(mahaba na ang yes dear)
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GF: Uy taguan tayo.
BF: Sige ba! Ano premyo ko pag nahanap kita?
GF: Hi hi hi. Sex tayo. :-[
BF: Uy, wow! Eh pano pag di kita nahanap?
GF: Eeeeii! Kainis 'to. Basta nasa likod lang ako ng drum. ;D ;D
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HOLDAPER: Akina ang pera mo! >:(
LALAKI: Hindi mo ba ako nakikilala? Congressman ako!! >:(
HOLDAPER: O sige. akina ang pera namin!
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DIVORCED FATHER: Anak pag uwi mo ibigay mo sa nanay mo
itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 ka na. Huling cheke
na makukuha niya for the child support tapos tignan mo kung ano
expression ng face niya.
ANAK: Mommy, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sa iyo itong cheke, last support na
Niya ito sa akin kasi 18 na ko. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng
face mo.
MOMMY: Anak, sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta
kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tingnan mo expression face niya.
(aray!) :o :o
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LOLA: Ineng, may manliligaw ka na ba?
APO: Marami na po sila Lola. :-[
LOLA: Aba eh, may napipisil ka na ba sa kanila Ineng?
APO: T!t! pa lang po nila Lola, ayaw po ipapisil yung !t1og nila, masakit daw. :o ;D
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Boy: Dear, before we get married I want you to know that my d!(k is like an infant. :-[
Girl: Ok lang. I still love you kahit ganyan iyan. (very sympathetic and
naka embrace pa)
During their honeymoon. ;D
Girl: 'Naaay ko pong mahabagin susmaryosep! tatay ko! Anlaki! :o :o
Akala ko ba parang infant?
Boy: Parang infant nga. 8lbs, 3oz, 12 inches. (katakot o kasarap?)
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Pasosyal na girl sa bus.
GIRL: Mameng kowndakter, can u meyk get my luggage pleeasee?
It's medjow sow heyvee keysi.
KONDUKTOR: Alin dito Miss?
GIRL: Uhmm.. dat wan ober deyr oh, The SAKO! ;D ;D
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Sa confessional box.
SEXY: Father, kasalanan ba ang di pag suot ng panty? :-[
FR: Of course lalo na pag naka skirt lang
ang isang babae.
SEXY: Pano po yan, wala akong suot na panty
ngayon naka mini pa ako? :o :-[
FR: Ah Uhrrm uhrmm! For your penance,
magtambling ka ng 10x papuntang altar, mag headstand ka ng
10 minutes, tapos babasbasan kita ng holy water ko! ;D ;D
(Amen!)
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MAG ASAWANG NAG AAWAY.
BABAE: Punyeta ka! >:(
LALAKI: Punyeta ka din! >:(
BABAE: Tarantado! >:(
LALAKI: Tarantado ka rin! >:(
BABAE: SUPOT! >:( :o
LALAKI: Sorry na kasi.. ;D ;D
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Restorant sa Ongpin.
Customer 1: Hot tea
Customer 2: Ako rin hot tea ha. Make sure malinis baso ha.
After a while.
Waiter: Ang order niyo 2 hot tea. Kanino nga yung malinis ang baso? (Eeew!) ;D ;D
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Reporter: what's the world's no. 1 shampoo?
Pacquiao: HIDDEN SOLDIERS (head and shoulders) ;D ;D
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NOON.........
"Hindi lahat ng magsyota naghahalikan"
NGAYON.........
"Hindi lahat ng naghahalikan magsyota" :o :o
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A burglar broke into Malacanang & into the room of GMA
& FG.. The First Couple froze in silence. Suddenly, the
burglar panicked and ran away screaming......... "MAGNANAKAW,
MAGNANAKAW!!"
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hahaha ;D joker ka din pala dawg... ;D
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hahaha ;D joker ka din pala dawg... ;D
you know it!! I especially find the "mga pagbabago", the "lolo and apo", and the "gf and bf" quite hilarious. hehehe. ;) :) 8)
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hahaha ;D joker ka din pala dawg... ;D
oo nga....di halata ah...ang galing ng jokes..natuwa ako... hahaha! :) :D
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oo nga....di halata ah...ang galing ng jokes..natuwa ako... hahaha! :) :D
I'm glad I was able to entertain you, too. dami pa sunod. hehehe. ;) :) 8)
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I'm glad I was able to entertain you, too. dami pa sunod. hehehe. ;) :) 8)
surething! can't wait for more ;)
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10,000 points ka Dawg dahil sa iyong mga jokes...heheheh
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10,000 points ka Dawg dahil sa iyong mga jokes...heheheh
korek! pogi points ang may humor eh... :)
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korek! pogi points ang may humor eh... :)
tama ;)
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korek! pogi points ang may humor eh... :)
so ibig sabihin kapag yung guy humurous, pogi points sa iyo... ;)
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Hahahaha! Thanks for the laughs, Dawg!
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Hahahaha! Thanks for the laughs, Dawg!
ang galing noh? ako rin tawa ng tawa kagabi eh ;D
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ang galing noh? ako rin tawa ng tawa kagabi eh ;D
Kaya lang sumakit lalo ang likod ko sa kakatawa. hahaha
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Kaya lang sumakit lalo ang likod ko sa kakatawa. hahaha
naku, pigilan mong tumawa baka sumakit yan lalo.. ;D
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naku, pigilan mong tumawa baka sumakit yan lalo.. ;D
Akala ko ba laugher is the best medicine...hindi pala pag ganito. hahaha
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Akala ko ba laugher is the best medicine...hindi pala pag ganito. hahaha
laughter is the best medicine nga pero sa kalagayan mo, baka maging worst yan..hahaha!
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laughter is the best medicine nga pero sa kalagayan mo, baka maging worst yan..hahaha!
Kaya nga eh...pinipigilan ko na lang. ;D
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Kaya nga eh...pinipigilan ko na lang. ;D
ay mabuti yan para hindi lumala yon sakit mo..hehe!
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The Philippines is over populated because:
-- walang death penalty ;D ;D
Aus also has no death penalty. Why is Aus very underpopulated?
In fact, Aus is facing an ageing population problem. Its human race is an endangered species. On the brink of extinction.
Alam mo bakit? Because Aussie men, LIKE ME, have extremely high moral values. We don't womanize. We don't indulge in such sinful pleasures.
Aussie husbands are faithful, loyal, loving, devoted, and true to their wives.
It is a fact of life that a man, theoretically, can have an entire herd. But a woman cannot.
So, girls, understand now why Aussie men make ideal husbands? They're the best. One very good reason you should choose me for your perfect soulmate.
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heheheheheh ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Aus also has no death penalty. Why is Aus very underpopulated?
In fact, Aus is facing an ageing population problem. Its human race is an endangered species. On the brink of extinction.
Alam mo bakit? Because Aussie men, LIKE ME, have extremely high moral values. We don't womanize. We don't indulge in such sinful pleasures.
Aussie husbands are faithful, loyal, loving, devoted, and true to their wives.
It is a fact of life that a man, theoretically, can have an entire herd. But a woman cannot.
So, girls, understand now why Aussie men make ideal husbands? They're the best. One very good reason you should choose me for your perfect soulmate.
hhhmmm...interesting :)
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Interesting? Me? Hhhhmmmm .... sounds promising.
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:o
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tawa pod ko bi... ;D ;D ;D
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10,000 points ka Dawg dahil sa iyong mga jokes...heheheh
korek! pogi points ang may humor eh... :)
pati muka humorous din, eh. hahaha! ;) :) 8)
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Hahahaha! Thanks for the laughs, Dawg!
no problemo! thanx din sa balot! lami lahat, eh! especially the pork. you know it's really good when it starts melting on you tongue before you even chew it. ;) :) 8)
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ang galing noh? ako rin tawa ng tawa kagabi eh ;D
Kaya lang sumakit lalo ang likod ko sa kakatawa. hahaha
naku, pigilan mong tumawa baka sumakit yan lalo.. ;D
that's ok! it will all come out like...........blowin' in the wind! get it?! "blowin' in the wind! hahaha! ;) :) 8)
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no problemo! thanx din sa balot! lami lahat, eh! especially the pork. you know it's really good when it starts melting on you tongue before you even chew it. ;) :) 8)
dont forget to drink Tea after that meal...ang cholesterol bro..heheheh
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dont forget to drink Tea after that meal...ang cholesterol bro..heheheh
I don't think I have a problem with that. besides, I'd rather enjoy the good things in life (even if it's bad for my health) and lead a quality short life, than live a long miserable one. hehehe. ;) :) 8)
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dont forget to drink Tea after that meal...ang cholesterol bro..heheheh
Prefer coffee. Think I'm the only Cebuano with Chinese upbringing who hates tea. Walang pag-asa. Rebelde talaga.
Cholesterol? Who cares? When it's time's up, nothing I can do about it.
"Nothing happens by chance. Everything's part of some Greater Design"
I don't think I have a problem with that. besides, I'd rather enjoy the good things in life (even if it's bad for my health) and lead a quality short life, than live a long miserable one. hehehe. ;) :) 8)
Guess this depends on one's view of life. Whether one's a pessimist or an optimist.
Lord Byron said, "Joy makes me think of sorrow; sorrow makes me think of joy". Very pessimistic indeed!
But, since I'm a nut case ...... Hehehe. Know why it's called a happy house?
As I've warned Mikey, I'm gonna drive everybody nuts with my postings. Hope nobody gets lobotomized. Heavens forbid. Hehehe.
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pati muka humorous din, eh. hahaha! ;) :) 8)
Hahaha! Really? :P
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Hahaha! Really? :P
have you ever seen a face with blue blotches, cross-eyed, very large broad forehead, one-side droopy cheeks, double-chinned, large mouse-like ears, extra small upper lip while the bottom is double extra large, long Pinocchio-like nose......................... well................... that's not my face. hahaha!! got you goin' there for a second, huh! hahaha!! ;) :) 8)
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have you ever seen a face with blue blotches, cross-eyed, very large broad forehead, one-side droopy cheeks, double-chinned, large mouse-like ears, extra small upper lip while the bottom is double extra large, long Pinocchio-like nose......................... well................... that's not my face. hahaha!! got you goin' there for a second, huh! hahaha!! ;) :) 8)
are you sure that's not ur face? Hahaha! :)
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are you sure that's not ur face? Hahaha! :)
hmmmmmm............ wait a sec. I'm gonna check, ok!.................... hmmmmmm.......... let me re-check again! ;) :) 8) hahaha! :)
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Mga pagbabago...
Noon, pag maganda ligawan mo na agad,
Ngayon, pag maganda titigan mo muna maigi baka bakla,
Noon, konti lang ang lalaking guwapo,
Ngayon, konting guwapo lang ang tunay na lalaki,
Noon, pag guwapo babaero,
Ngayon, pati mga panget babaero na din! (putris)
hahaha--oh well, constant change they say.. ;D ;D ;D
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hahaha--oh well, constant change they say.. ;D ;D ;D
who know? maybe the next phase change would be.............
noon....... mga lalaki babaero
ngayon............ pati babae......... babaero na rin. and mga gwapo.......... lalakero na!
yikes!!!! :o :o :o :o hahaha!!
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who know? maybe the next phase change would be.............
noon....... mga lalaki babaero
ngayon............ pati babae......... babaero na rin. and mga gwapo.......... lalakero na!
yikes!!!! :o :o :o :o hahaha!!
u gave meh an idea--hmmmmm... ;D ;D ;D
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u gave meh an idea--hmmmmm... ;D ;D ;D
not a good idea, missy!! you don't wanna break somebody's heart now, would you? :( 8) hehehe.
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not a good idea, missy!! you don't wanna break somebody's heart now, would you? :( 8) hehehe.
i might have diabetes, hypertension, cancer, etc..etc..in my genes mister, but not a single heartbreaker-DNA. haha allegation denied. :P ;D
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i might have diabetes, hypertension, cancer, etc..etc..in my genes mister, but not a single heartbreaker-DNA. haha allegation denied. :P ;D
sorry about the others, but glad to know about the "heartbreaker" thing. although the previous are deadly........... the latter is even deadlier. 8)
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sorry about the others, but glad to know about the "heartbreaker" thing. although the previous are deadly........... the latter is even deadlier. 8)
hehe--crash&burn!! ;D ;D ;D
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hehe--crash&burn!! ;D ;D ;D
not for you, missy! maybe for somebody you know who lagi' get shot down by those stingers of yours. :( 8)
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not for you, missy! maybe for somebody you know who lagi' get shot down by those stingers of yours. :( 8)
my apology dear sensei--can i volunteer myself to detention now?? hehe
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my apology dear sensei--can i volunteer myself to detention now?? hehe
oh yeah! I have a nice and very warm place once I close my arms around. hehehe. ;) :) 8)
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Now, back to
hhhmmm...interesting :)
Hope you won't mind my audacity. What are you going to do about it? Rather what are WE going to do about it?
If the price is right, .....
As Dr. Covey said in his book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", it's either a win/win or no deal.
Think this is a win/win situation:
- you're beautiful and I'm ugly;
- you're perfectly normal and I'm a nut case;
- you represent the ideal and I'm reality.
Sounds a perfect match indeed, don't you agree? Does everybody agree?
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"who knows if this is real or just something we're both dreaming of, watching dreams like an interlude now, it is the beginning of love" - from the song "Interlude" sang by Timi Yuro
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oh yeah! I have a nice and very warm place once I close my arms around. hehehe. ;) :) 8)
that doesn't sound like detention..not at all.haha
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my apology dear sensei--can i volunteer myself to detention now?? hehe
that doesn't sound like detention..not at all.haha
depending on how it's perceived. since you volunteered.......... that will be the best place for you. ;) :) 8)
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that doesn't sound like detention..not at all.haha
depending on how it's perceived. since you volunteered.......... that will be the best place for you. ;) :) 8)
Ehemmmm.....nakikiraan lang po. ;) ;D
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depending on how it's perceived. since you volunteered.......... that will be the best place for you. ;) :) 8)
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. ;D ;D ;D
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Ehemmmm.....nakikiraan lang po. ;) ;D
haha--kuyog man ko nmo 'tel. ;) ;D ;D
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Ehemmmm.....nakikiraan lang po. ;) ;D
surething!! no problemo!! pwede po!! ;) :) 8)
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. ;D ;D ;D
and that's judge's order! hehehe. ;) :) 8) "thank you, your honor!" :) 8)
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and that's judge's order! hehehe. ;) :) 8) "thank you, your honor!" :) 8)
..but the judge has a pocketful of needles. ;D ;D :P
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..but the judge has a pocketful of needles. ;D ;D :P
we all gotta make sacrifice, don't we? I'll just say, "ouch.........ouch..........ouch!" hehehe. ;) :) 8) "suck it up and drive on, soldier!" (my former drill sergeant) 8)
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we all gotta make sacrifice, don't we? I'll just say, "ouch.........ouch..........ouch!" hehehe. ;) :) 8)
..and ohhh--you can say those again too. ;D ;D ;D
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..and ohhh--you can say those again too. ;D ;D ;D
how many needles? ouch!.......ouch!........ ouchie! doc, I got an owwiiee. ;) :) 8)
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how many needles? ouch!.......ouch!........ ouchie! doc, I got an owwiiee. ;) :) 8)
poor dawgie with the post-stinger booboos.. ;D ;D ;D
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poor dawgie with the post-stinger booboos.. ;D ;D ;D
as long as you're here, doc! I can hack it! hehehe. ;) :) 8)
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as long as you're here, doc! I can hack it! hehehe. ;) :) 8)
won't there be any conflict of interest, u think?? ::) ::) ;D
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won't there be any conflict of interest, u think?? ::) ::) ;D
don't think so!! for others? yes!! ;) :) 8)
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poor dawgie with the post-stinger booboos.. ;D ;D ;D
uh........oh!! crash-n-burn! crash-n-burn!...........as long as you're here, doc! I can hack it! hehehe. ;) :) 8)