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WELCOME FRIENDS TO MIKEY GATAL'S WORLD => FUN GAMES WITH YOUR FRIENDS => Topic started by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:06:13 AM

Title: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:06:13 AM
Hear about the Terrorist who walked into the bar,


BOOM BOOM!

No offence intended, Boombastic.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Third Marriage
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:22:50 AM
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Third marriage is...bad memory.  :) ;)
Title: Divorced
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:25:09 AM
Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A. Divorced.
Title: Divorce Matter
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:26:58 AM
A divorce court judge said to the husband, "Mr. Perry, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week."
"That's very fair, your honor," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." :) ;)
Title: Too Late
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:33:30 AM
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."  :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: zulacs on August 10, 2010, 01:33:35 AM
dili man masabtan imong jokes oi..hahaha..!makapasimangot mani nuon...hehehe,,
Title: Great Trade!
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:34:29 AM
Get a New Car for Your Spouse.
It'll be a Great Trade! :) ;) :D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:35:12 AM
dili man masabtan imong jokes oi..hahaha..!makapasimangot mani nuon...hehehe,,

Dat's part of the joke. Decipher d joke. ;D ;D :D
Title: Drivers License
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:39:27 AM
A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. It is not polite."
"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"Those are enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?"
And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."  ;D
Title: Strange but true
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 01:42:11 AM
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son. ;D
Title: Terrorism
Post by: juan on August 10, 2010, 09:40:15 PM
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."  :) ;)
- Sam Kinison
Title: A happy marriage
Post by: juan on September 04, 2010, 09:12:21 PM
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.  ;D
Title: going through hell
Post by: juan on September 04, 2010, 09:13:44 PM
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell. ;D
Title: self-defense
Post by: juan on September 04, 2010, 09:15:02 PM
They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense  ;D
Title: So they say
Post by: juan on September 04, 2010, 09:17:41 PM
They say that until a man is married he is incomplete.
It must be true
Because after he is married he is finished.  ;D
Title: MALE OR FEMALE?
Post by: juan on September 08, 2010, 10:02:50 PM
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
(Anonymous)
 :) ;) :D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 08, 2010, 10:21:55 PM
The Remote Control is really interesting
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: [email protected] on September 08, 2010, 11:53:09 PM
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell. ;D

Love is not just a word or a feeling. It is a deed that you do. Love needs no compromise and there is no half-measure. It is all or nothing!!
Title: A Tale of Two Monks
Post by: juan on September 10, 2010, 12:36:00 AM
In ancient times, two monks, an old and a young one, were walking together. In this order of monks, any contact with women was strictly forbidden. The two monks came to a stream, swollen by the spring rains.

A beautiful young woman stood on the bank crying her heart out. "Why are you crying?" the old monk asked. She replied that she wanted to go to her father's house to attend her sister's wedding, but that the stream was too high to cross.

"No problem at all," said the old monk, and he picked the young woman up and carried her across the stream. When he sat her down on the other side, she thanked him profusely, and went on her way.

The two monks continued their journey. But the older monk could see that his young companion was becoming more and more disturbed. "What's troubling you, brother?" he asked.

The jealous younger monk exploded in anger. "You know we're not supposed to have anything to do with women, and you picked that woman up and carried her across the stream!"

"I picked her up and set her down," replied the old, wise monk, "You have been carrying her all this way." ;D
Title: Jamaica Holiday
Post by: juan on September 13, 2010, 10:26:04 PM
A married couple was on vacation in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You! Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!"  ;D ;D ;D
Title: 20 Minutes
Post by: juan on September 18, 2010, 09:29:30 PM
"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."  ;D
- Robert Frost
Title: Money or Sex Appeal
Post by: juan on September 22, 2010, 07:16:29 PM
A young girl was asked to choose between marrying a man with money and marrying a man with sex appeal.
The girl replied, "I prefer a man with money 'coz when I grow old, his money will be my sex appeal".
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 22, 2010, 07:17:47 PM
that's so true hahaha
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on September 25, 2010, 09:25:24 PM
that's so true hahaha

Oh, yes, in Paris, there are many lonely rich old ladies looking for gigolos. Unfortunately for us, lampas na tayo sa kalendaryo para sa kanila. They prefer blokes below 25.  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: devildawg on September 25, 2010, 10:32:32 PM
A married couple was on vacation in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You! Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!"  ;D ;D ;D

bwaaahahaha!! ;) :) 8)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 26, 2010, 12:46:56 AM
Oh, yes, in Paris, there are many lonely rich old ladies looking for gigolos. Unfortunately for us, lampas na tayo sa kalendaryo para sa kanila. They prefer blokes below 25.  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

but i can still dance like a gigolo  :-[
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on September 26, 2010, 07:58:49 PM
but i can still dance like a gigolo  :-[

Well, you can always try your luck. Mentioned this elsewhere.
Pick one who doesn't have long to live. Win her heart. Before marrying, specify in the pre-nup agreement that you be her only heir. Or, well, at least a generous piece of the pie.
Then, catalyze her death by constantly pumping on her.
When she dies, taga-i lang nya kog bahin, ha? Bisag leftover lang. Hehehe.
Di man kaha ka motuog gaba.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Morse Code
Post by: juan on October 02, 2010, 07:59:26 PM
When telegram was still the fastest way to send msge, a telegram operator, Kulas, was dot2Xing wife's u-kno while they were asleep. Wife woke up.
Wife : Kulas, nag-unsa ka diha?
Kulas : Nagdamgo ko nga nagpadala kog telegrama.
Wife : Unsaon gud nimo pagpadala? Wa pa gani nimo gi-plug?
Title: The Good Wife
Post by: juan on November 15, 2010, 12:01:35 AM
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied. ;D
Title: My bird sh*ts
Post by: juan on November 15, 2010, 12:06:36 AM
What would you do if a bird shits on your windscreen???
I would never take her out again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you hear about the "blind" skunk??
It fell in love with a fart!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Advice for unmarried blokes
Post by: juan on November 15, 2010, 12:14:24 AM
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates  ;D

Title: Faster than eft
Post by: juan on November 15, 2010, 12:16:24 AM
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
Title: Bad Luck Marriages
Post by: juan on November 15, 2010, 12:17:33 AM
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray  ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:04:26 AM
The best adult jokes contest  through cellphone texts/sms in U.S.A.

10 Consolation Prize USD10,000.00 each

(3) After sex, a newly wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.
      Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
      Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to
      have one before."
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:05:53 AM

(4) Women's lives are hard. Morning, wash clothes. Noon, hang clothes.
      Evening, keep clothes. Nite, iron clothes.
      Midnight, take off clothes. After midnight, find clothes.

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:06:38 AM
(6) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
     "Anyone got a [email protected]?" All men rose.
     "I meant anyone seen a [email protected]?" All women rose.
     "I mean anyone seen my [email protected]?" All nuns rose.

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:08:24 AM
A Sad story.
     A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.
     She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said,
    " Sweetheart, this is my last [email protected] for you."
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:09:04 AM

(8) Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
     Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
     Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
     Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:09:31 AM
(9) A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
     "If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
     Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:09:53 AM
(10) Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
       Teacher: "Why?"
       Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:10:19 AM
(11) Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
        Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are
        you close-by?"
        2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing
        the tonsils."
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:10:52 AM
(12) Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis. This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:11:24 AM
First Prize USD25,000.00

(2) Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
     Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
     2 hours later.
     Immigrant Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You
     got nice house."

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on November 15, 2010, 01:11:40 AM
Grand Prize USD50,000.00

1) Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
    Mom asked "How do you know dear?"
    Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his                
    cock was still in plastic cover."
Title: The Zipper
Post by: juan on November 16, 2010, 07:22:00 PM
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware
that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the
height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this
would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With
a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a
little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked
her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the
bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and
yelled, 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda
figured we was friends.' ;D
Title: The Reward
Post by: juan on November 28, 2010, 06:52:11 PM
A man was asked, "If you happen by a dark alley and notice a lovely teenage lass being raped, what will you do"?
The man replied, "First, I'll rescue her. Then, I'll resume the rape. Why not? I certainly deserve the reward for saving her". ;D
Title: Penalties for Suicide Bombers
Post by: juan on February 28, 2011, 10:02:11 PM
ali g quote " i think the US government needs to increase the punishments for suicide bombers" ;D
Title: Suicide Bomber School
Post by: juan on February 28, 2011, 10:04:05 PM
The teacher at the suicide bomber School said to the class at their first lesson:
"The only way to learn how to trigger a bomb is to see it".
"Watch closely, I will only show you this once"

BOOOOM!!!!! ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on March 01, 2011, 03:09:38 PM
boom boom pow
Title:
Post by: juan on March 18, 2011, 05:58:14 PM
you go grocery shopping, and put 1 little pack of sausages, two potatoes and 2 carrots on the conveyor at the supermarket.
The checkout girl looks at those then up at you and says ' so you're single then.'
You reply ' yes I am did the groceries give it away?'
and she says
'no its because you are damn ugly' ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Single women ... married women
Post by: juan on March 18, 2011, 06:16:25 PM
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want. ;D
Title: Why are married women heavier than single women?
Post by: juan on March 18, 2011, 06:18:28 PM
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. ;D :D ;) :)
Title: Cheating Wife ... Cheating Mistress
Post by: juan on March 18, 2011, 06:42:35 PM
A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other'sbehavior.
    When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specificbehavior of the passenger he knew to be his mistress. "She slept with nearly every man on the ship," his wife reported.
    The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife.
    "She was a real lady," his mistress said.
    "How so?" the encouraged man asked.
    "She came on board with her husband and never left his side."  ;D
Title: Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
Post by: juan on March 18, 2011, 06:48:01 PM
The rest cheat in Europe ... and elsewhere ;D ;D ;D
Title: $800 a Year
Post by: juan on March 18, 2011, 06:52:43 PM
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says, "What are you doing?"
    She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heardladies-of-the-night there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."
    Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
    When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm going to Vegas, too. I want to see you live on $800 a year."
Title: Sex Statistics
Post by: juan on March 18, 2011, 06:58:37 PM
Did You Know?

56% of men have had sex at work.
60% of men and 54% of women have had a one-night stand. ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on May 17, 2011, 09:53:02 AM
Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna miss you for sure!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: [email protected] on May 31, 2011, 01:16:38 AM
Sometimes people we think we know so well , they are complete strangers .we go our whole lives with out knowing this until one day they hurt us so bad ....we have to let go and  beware.
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 02, 2011, 08:21:42 PM
Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna miss you for sure!

Me gonna grab the life vest. Then, jump overboard. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 02, 2011, 08:22:26 PM
Me badder than Dawg. Always feel goooooood when me do something bad to a fren. Hehehe. :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 02, 2011, 08:23:24 PM
Sometimes people we think we know so well , they are complete strangers .we go our whole lives with out knowing this until one day they hurt us so bad ....we have to let go and  beware.

If see some bloke raping you, sure gonna rescue you. Then, .... resume the rape!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 02, 2011, 08:24:46 PM
As a lovely, here, said about me, "Bida sa pagka-contrabida!". Hehehe. :) ;)
Title: Believe it or not you can read this ...
Post by: juan on June 03, 2011, 08:44:04 PM
 cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

Hpapy Estaer !
??? ;D :D :) ;)
Title: The angle of the dangle
Post by: juan on June 14, 2011, 12:04:31 AM
"The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant. (unknown)"  ;D
Title: The pen is mightier than the sword
Post by: juan on June 14, 2011, 12:06:38 AM
"The pen is mightier than the sword."
-Mark Twain
The penis mightier than the sword
-Much better punctuation Mark  ;D
Title: Sex without love is an empty experience.
Post by: juan on June 14, 2011, 12:09:34 AM
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. ;D
Title: I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.
Post by: juan on June 14, 2011, 12:13:36 AM
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.
Between five, it's fantastic." ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on June 14, 2011, 06:55:20 PM
wow...
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 20, 2011, 02:14:01 AM
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.
Between five, it's fantastic." ;D
wow...

Sabi ng skipper kulang dao iyon para sa kanya. Tatayo rao sya ng harem sa farm for his own private collection. Papayag ba kayo? Hehehe. :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on June 20, 2011, 08:19:08 PM
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want. ;D
....i repost ko to ha...thanks :)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 20, 2011, 09:25:39 PM
....i repost ko to ha...thanks :)

Mi copyright iyon! Oh, well, if the price is right ... Hehehe. :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on June 20, 2011, 09:55:26 PM
Mi copyright iyon! Oh, well, if the price is right ... Hehehe. :) ;)
...ngeee..wala na na repost ko na. hihihihihi..thank you. :)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 20, 2011, 10:01:57 PM
...ngeee..wala na na repost ko na. hihihihihi..thank you. :)

Lagot ka! You owe me one. Hehehe. :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on June 20, 2011, 10:55:25 PM
Lagot ka! You owe me one. Hehehe. :) ;)
...ngeah..balato mo nalang yan sa akin. thanks ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on June 21, 2011, 05:48:33 PM
pwede ako rin? nakzzz..
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on June 21, 2011, 07:04:06 PM
pwede ako rin? nakzzz..
...yes wardz anu man? hhihihihi..cge pwede rin. toink!!! :)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on June 22, 2011, 08:53:10 PM
...ngeee..wala na na repost ko na. hihihihihi..thank you. :)

kani na lang ipost para mapasayaw ka hehehe

So Sexy Marian Rivera (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlSXL320QTs#)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on June 22, 2011, 08:59:14 PM
Kaluoy.  :( ;D ;)
Title: I wrote your name in the sand
Post by: juan on June 22, 2011, 09:51:58 PM
I wrote your name in the sand, and it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it got blown away, then
I wrote your name in my heart & I got heart attack.  ;D
Title: God saw me hungry, he created pizza
Post by: juan on June 22, 2011, 09:53:03 PM
God saw me hungry, he created pizza
He saw me thirsty, he created beer
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, he created you  ;D
Title: Twinkle Twinkle little star
Post by: juan on June 22, 2011, 09:54:18 PM
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far  ;D
Title: The rain makes all things beautiful
Post by: juan on June 22, 2011, 09:55:35 PM
The rain makes all things beautiful
The grass and the flowers too
If rain makes all thing beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?  ;D
Title: Roses are red, Violets are blue
Post by: juan on June 22, 2011, 09:56:41 PM
Roses are red, Violets are blue
monkeys like u should be kept in a zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
not in cage, but laughing at you  ;D
Title: Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Post by: juan on July 07, 2011, 10:06:23 PM
"Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest." ;D
- Helen Rowland
Title: The Ten Commandments
Post by: juan on August 03, 2011, 11:04:15 PM
One Sunday mass, the handsome, charismatic, and young priest's sermon was on the Ten Commandments.

He was an eloquent speaker. Very articulate and very fluent. Everything went well with his preaching. Until he preached the sixth commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery".

The wives began winsomely looking at him with mischievous eyes. Making seductive gestures with their mouths and tongues. The husbands, noticing their wives, stared at him with suspicion.

He started sweating a lot. His clothes became soaking wet. He began to stutter wildly. Having difficulty reading his well-prepared speech.

Anyway, he was able to carry on with his sermon. Until he preached the ninth commandment, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife". This time, he was trembling a lot. Lost for words. His speech became incoherent.

He was unable to preach the last commandment. He had to run for his life. Being chased by a hot bunch of naughty wives. Followed by an angry mob of jealous husbands.  ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: sweets on August 04, 2011, 07:24:44 PM
dili man masabtan imong jokes oi..hahaha..!makapasimangot mani nuon...hehehe,,


 ??? ??? ???

sabta nalang gud zuls
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: gee_17 on August 04, 2011, 07:33:11 PM
laughter is the best medicine.aw hehe
Title: Seek to understand, as to be understood.
Post by: juan on August 04, 2011, 10:27:00 PM
??? ??? ???
sabta nalang gud zuls

"Seek to understand, as to be understood. (St. Francis of Assisi)" :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on August 04, 2011, 10:32:50 PM
laughter is the best medicine.aw hehe

that's right
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on August 04, 2011, 11:04:01 PM
laughter is the best medicine.aw hehe
that's right

Be careful, though! .....
"I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
but I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.
I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me
."
- song line from Bee Gees "I Started A Joke"

See what I'm getting at ? Hehehe. :) ;)

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on August 05, 2011, 11:15:41 PM
Q. Why do couples hold hands during weddings?
A. It is just a formality. Like "2 boxers", they shake hands before the fight begins.
Title: Makati Bus Scandal
Post by: juan on August 08, 2011, 09:27:10 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on August 08, 2011, 09:39:57 PM
nice one juan
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on August 08, 2011, 10:01:32 PM
Q. Why do couples hold hands during weddings?
A. It is just a formality. Like "2 boxers", they shake hands before the fight begins.

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." :D ;)
- Anonymous
Title: Three Women Friends
Post by: juan on August 08, 2011, 10:11:53 PM
Title: An elderly couple
Post by: juan on August 08, 2011, 10:12:54 PM
An elderly couple had been dating for sometime. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to approach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly. "Well," she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say that I would like it infrequently." The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then, looking over his glasses, he casually asked...... "Was that one word or two? " ;D ;)
Title: Shame and Scandal in the Family
Post by: juan on August 09, 2011, 10:34:11 PM
Son: Dad, I want to marry my gf.
Dad: No, son, no. That girl is your sister but your mum doesn't know.
Daughter: Dad, I want to marry my bf.
Dad: No, daughter, no. That boy is your brother but your mum doesn't know.
Son & Daughter: Mum, we want to marry our sweethearts.
Mum: Go, children, go. You have my blessings. Your daddy ain't your daddy but your daddy doesn't know. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 12:29:55 AM
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. ;D
Title: The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 12:33:21 AM
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. (anonymous)" ;D
Title: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 12:42:38 AM
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on August 15, 2011, 12:46:07 AM
im always hungry
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 12:48:51 AM
im always hungry

After living in a close country for soooo long, ... ? Ay, nako! MG sheilas, help him!  ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on August 15, 2011, 12:50:14 AM
hungry for food
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 12:51:50 AM
hungry for food

No pangs for the other one?  ??? Hehehe.
Title: Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd bette
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 01:17:16 AM
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. ;D (anonymous)"
Title: If sex is .....
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 01:19:52 AM
If sex is a pain in the a$$, then you're doing it wrong... (anonymous)"  ;D :D :) ;)
Title: Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is
Post by: juan on August 15, 2011, 01:23:50 AM
"Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (anonymous)" :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on August 16, 2011, 07:17:30 AM
"Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (anonymous)" :) ;)
...true!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on August 16, 2011, 08:50:53 PM
agree
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on August 17, 2011, 01:06:51 AM
"Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (anonymous)" :) ;)
...permission po..pwede ko i repost. salamat :)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: devildawg on August 19, 2011, 09:03:49 PM
"Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (anonymous)" :) ;)

...true!

agree

According to the Old Testament, King Solomon had 200+ wives.....and still loved by God (his and ours).  Same as with Abraham (father of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam).....who had several wives.  hehehe. ;) :) 8)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: devildawg on August 19, 2011, 09:11:12 PM
If sex is a pain in the a$$, then you're doing it wrong... (anonymous)"  ;D :D :) ;)

seems like you know something about it, brother. ??? :o  hehehe.  ;) :) 8)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: devildawg on August 19, 2011, 09:13:16 PM
"Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (anonymous)" :) ;)

...permission po..pwede ko i repost. salamat :)

I'd say the one reasoning of it being "a downfall" is..........they got caught (by the primary gal)!! hahaha!! so, the moral of the story is.....don't get caught.  hehehe. ;) :) 8)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on August 19, 2011, 09:18:00 PM
According to the Old Testament, King Solomon had 200+ wives.....and still loved by God (his and ours).  Same as with Abraham (father of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam).....who had several wives.  hehehe. ;) :) 8)
you have the point officer
Title: Increase and Multiply
Post by: juan on August 19, 2011, 09:20:17 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: devildawg on August 19, 2011, 09:42:15 PM
Title: Allow Polygamy; not Polyandry
Post by: juan on August 19, 2011, 09:51:07 PM
well, after a divorce proceeding, it's "divide and decrease".  DIVIDE all community properties between both parties........therefore that's a DECREASE on the guy's assets.  hehehe.  and unfortunately, it the "DECREASE" part doesn't end there.  ;) :) 8)

Hence, divorce should be against the law. Man may have many wives. But woman must have only one husband. Hehehe. :) ;)
Girls, please. Me no male chauvinist pig at all. Only blurting somebody's opinionated opinion. ;D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on August 27, 2011, 02:41:30 AM
I'd say the one reasoning of it being "a downfall" is..........they got caught (by the primary gal)!! hahaha!! so, the moral of the story is.....don't get caught.  hehehe. ;) :) 8)

....Just make sure you wont get caught or else that's the end of the world!!!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on August 27, 2011, 02:44:20 AM
According to the Old Testament, King Solomon had 200+ wives.....and still loved by God (his and ours).  Same as with Abraham (father of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam).....who had several wives.  hehehe. ;) :) 8)
....unlike 100x..advantage to sa mga lalaki..hehehe
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on August 27, 2011, 03:00:46 AM
....unlike 100x..advantage to sa mga lalaki..hehehe
hahahaha
Title: I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Post by: juan on September 01, 2011, 12:52:22 AM
"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.  ;D
- Rodney Dangerfield
Title: I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told
Post by: juan on September 01, 2011, 12:59:11 AM
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."  ;D
- Rodney Dangerfield

Ay nako! Nag 5some ang Misis. ;D :D ;) :)
Title: I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going
Post by: juan on September 01, 2011, 01:04:57 AM
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."  ;D
- Rodney Dangerfield
Title: If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Post by: juan on September 01, 2011, 01:06:15 AM
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."  ;D
- Rodney Dangerfield

Title: My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfrien
Post by: juan on September 01, 2011, 01:07:44 AM
"My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend." ;D
- Rodney Dangerfield
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on September 01, 2011, 07:08:19 AM
PATIENT: Doc, i hav a prblm but promise u wont laf

(drops his pants and shows d tiniest penis EVER).

Doc: (trying not 2 laf) Ok, wats d problm?

Patient: Namamaga doc!...
Title: Mnemonics for the Colour Spectrum
Post by: juan on September 16, 2011, 02:01:56 AM
They are Black, Brown, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Violet, Gray, White.
To easily remember them, just remember the statement, "Bad Boys Raped Our Young Girls. Beautiful Virgins Gave Way".
;D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 16, 2011, 09:30:05 AM
PATIENT: Doc, i hav a prblm but promise u wont laf

(drops his pants and shows d tiniest penis EVER).

Doc: (trying not 2 laf) Ok, wats d problm?

Patient: Namamaga doc!...

ewwww
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on September 16, 2011, 09:15:46 PM
ewwww
hahaha
Title: A Bachelor of Arts
Post by: juan on October 18, 2011, 10:36:12 PM
"A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor."  :) ;)
- Helen Rowland
Title: A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second
Post by: juan on October 18, 2011, 10:38:15 PM
"A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest." ;D ;)
- Helen Rowland
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on October 18, 2011, 10:39:37 PM
Kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol.
Title: A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
Post by: juan on October 18, 2011, 10:40:54 PM
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.   :) ;)
- Helen Rowland
Title: Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; af
Post by: juan on October 19, 2011, 12:24:27 AM
"Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you."   ;D ;)
- Helen Rowland
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on October 19, 2011, 12:26:36 AM
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying
Title: It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying
Post by: juan on October 19, 2011, 12:28:55 AM
"It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others." ;D ;)
- Helen Rowland
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on October 19, 2011, 12:37:47 AM
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying
She says it best when she says nothing at all. Hehehe.  :) ;)
"I'd rather face the mouth of a hungry lion, than face the mouth of an angry woman".  ;D
;D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on October 19, 2011, 12:46:26 AM
She says it best when she says nothing at all. Hehehe.  :) ;) ;D ;)
ikaw ba yan Ronan Keating? lolz
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on October 19, 2011, 09:44:36 AM
ikaw ba yan Ronan Keating? lolz
.....hahahahaha..wala lang natawa lang ako. hehe
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on October 19, 2011, 08:09:59 PM
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying
In a manner of speaking, you're right, mate. I was never truly married. Reason I'm still searching. Hehehe. :) ;)
Title: If Tomorrow Never Comes
Post by: juan on October 19, 2011, 08:22:39 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on October 21, 2011, 09:27:44 PM
In a manner of speaking, you're right, mate. I was never truly married. Reason I'm still searching. Hehehe. :) ;)
same here thought lolz
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on October 21, 2011, 09:29:16 PM
.....hahahahaha..wala lang natawa lang ako. hehe
happy paka karon kay bag-o paman
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Hotchick! on October 24, 2011, 08:02:53 PM
happy paka karon kay bag-o paman
...natawa ako kay Ronan Keating. hihihi
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on October 24, 2011, 09:14:31 PM
Applicants
 2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo
 Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba'ng ginawa mo?
 Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa Sex, sure.
Title: Fastest EFT ?
Post by: juan on October 26, 2011, 07:05:05 PM
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
Even much faster is divorce. ;D :D :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on October 28, 2011, 09:26:48 PM
Even much faster is divorce. ;D :D :) ;)
nice unta kung naa na sa pinas
Title: People these days are too fake. They say "I'm always here for you!" Bitch please
Post by: juan on December 02, 2011, 01:33:11 AM
"People these days are too fake. They say "I'm always here for you!" Bitch please! Give me a break." ;D ;)
- Unknown
Title: Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.
Post by: juan on December 02, 2011, 01:35:14 AM
Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs. ;D ;)
- Unknown
Title: No more games, no more drama. When you wanna be real gimme a holla.
Post by: juan on December 02, 2011, 01:37:27 AM
No more games, no more drama. When you wanna be real gimme a holla. :) ;)
- Unknown
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on December 02, 2011, 04:50:09 PM
Applicants
 2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo
 Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba'ng ginawa mo?
 Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa Sex, sure.


magkamali rin kaya ako?
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: tart on December 10, 2011, 09:24:58 PM
4 frnds at party.
After drinks, 1 of d men had 2use d restroom remainin talkd bout der kids.

1 man: My son started workin at company. Now he's d president of company. He became so rich dat he gave his bst frnd a Mercedes 4his bday.
2 man: My son started workin in big airline, den became partner in d company. He's so rich he gave his bst frnd brand new jet 4his brthday.
... 3 man: My son became an enginr. and is now a multimilionr. He gav bst frnd 30,000 sqr ft mansion.

Just as d 4th man returnd 4m d restroom n askd: "Wat discusion goin on?
1 of them said: V wer talkin success of our sons. Wat bout your son?
4th man: My son is gay and makes livin dancin as a stripr at a nytclub.
3 friends: What a shame..!
4 man: No,I'm not ashamd. He's my son n I love him n he hasn't done too bad either. His brthday was 2 weeks ago, n He recvd a beautiful 30,000 sqr ft mansion, brand new jet n Mercedes frm his 3 boyfriends...!!! :D:D:D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 10, 2011, 09:40:04 PM
magkamali rin kaya ako?
hahahaha
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 10, 2011, 09:42:42 PM
4 frnds at party.
After drinks, 1 of d men had 2use d restroom remainin talkd bout der kids.

1 man: My son started workin at company. Now he's d president of company. He became so rich dat he gave his bst frnd a Mercedes 4his bday.
2 man: My son started workin in big airline, den became partner in d company. He's so rich he gave his bst frnd brand new jet 4his brthday.
... 3 man: My son became an enginr. and is now a multimilionr. He gav bst frnd 30,000 sqr ft mansion.

Just as d 4th man returnd 4m d restroom n askd: "Wat discusion goin on?
1 of them said: V wer talkin success of our sons. Wat bout your son?
4th man: My son is gay and makes livin dancin as a stripr at a nytclub.
3 friends: What a shame..!
4 man: No,I'm not ashamd. He's my son n I love him n he hasn't done too bad either. His brthday was 2 weeks ago, n He recvd a beautiful 30,000 sqr ft mansion, brand new jet n Mercedes frm his 3 boyfriends...!!! :D:D:D
wahahaha...what a coincidence hihihi
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: aiko on December 11, 2011, 02:18:29 AM
"People these days are too fake. They say "I'm always here for you!" Bitch please! Give me a break." ;D ;)
- Unknown
Haahahahaha.... ;D
Title: Amusing Anecdote
Post by: juan on December 21, 2011, 07:53:44 PM
 ??? Just noticed these 2 pix in Recent Posts. One immediately following the other. ;)

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/373967_335454266464635_100000001947637_1390765_627681252_n.jpg)
during our chocotour with faye yesterday..
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs187.snc4/37704_144041088944734_100000165314226_444588_5988137_n.jpg)

this is it!...ka sweet ba gabii oist :D ;D ;D ;D


thanks art!...mag matron napud ta este patron napud pohon diay..higsgut man gud ka og 58 y.o gabii, na matron na nuon....ahahaha! ;D
Hindi sinadya!!!!!    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on December 21, 2011, 08:12:01 PM
4 frnds at party.
After drinks, 1 of d men had 2use d restroom remainin talkd bout der kids.

1 man: My son started workin at company. Now he's d president of company. He became so rich dat he gave his bst frnd a Mercedes 4his bday.
2 man: My son started workin in big airline, den became partner in d company. He's so rich he gave his bst frnd brand new jet 4his brthday.
... 3 man: My son became an enginr. and is now a multimilionr. He gav bst frnd 30,000 sqr ft mansion.

Just as d 4th man returnd 4m d restroom n askd: "Wat discusion goin on?
1 of them said: V wer talkin success of our sons. Wat bout your son?
4th man: My son is gay and makes livin dancin as a stripr at a nytclub.
3 friends: What a shame..!
4 man: No,I'm not ashamd. He's my son n I love him n he hasn't done too bad either. His brthday was 2 weeks ago, n He recvd a beautiful 30,000 sqr ft mansion, brand new jet n Mercedes frm his 3 boyfriends...!!! :D:D:D

magaling talaga siguro to in everything
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on December 21, 2011, 09:02:45 PM
wahahaha...what a coincidence hihihi
??? ::) :o :-\ :-X ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 22, 2011, 11:20:10 PM
1 night b4 dir wedin d guy went to his gf's haus wyl w8ng 4 his gf at d living room. his gf's hot sister told him "if you like 2 hav sex wd me,i'l b upstairs" he stood up & was shocked. den he nade up his mind & turnd his back 2 go 2 his car parked outsyd. to his surprise, his gf was w8ng outsyd w/ tears saying, "u passed d test, i'm happy 2b ur wife!"


- The moral lesson of the story is : Good thing to keep ur condoms in ur car..
hehehehe :)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 23, 2011, 08:07:50 PM
1 night b4 dir wedin d guy went to his gf's haus wyl w8ng 4 his gf at d living room. his gf's hot sister told him "if you like 2 hav sex wd me,i'l b upstairs" he stood up & was shocked. den he nade up his mind & turnd his back 2 go 2 his car parked outsyd. to his surprise, his gf was w8ng outsyd w/ tears saying, "u passed d test, i'm happy 2b ur wife!"


- The moral lesson of the story is : Good thing to keep ur condoms in ur car..
hehehehe :)
ayay uh!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on December 23, 2011, 10:31:52 PM
A very Merry Christmas to all my beloved fans! Miss you all soooo much. ;D :D :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 24, 2011, 09:37:45 PM
ayay uh!

hehehehe ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 24, 2011, 09:39:58 PM

hehehehe ;)
mag-andam kaha pud ko pohon no? hihihi
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 26, 2011, 01:28:54 AM
mag-andam kaha pud ko pohon no? hihihi

hahahahaha pg andam gyd ky lisod nah u knw nah
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 26, 2011, 01:31:17 AM
hahahahaha pg andam gyd ky lisod nah u knw nah
wala lagi pud ko pangandaman bby_lai
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 26, 2011, 01:33:45 AM
wala lagi pud ko pangandaman bby_lai

 aw pg andam rgd kuya in case bah
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 26, 2011, 01:34:59 AM
aw pg andam rgd kuya in case bah
sige ha, hatagi unya ko ug pangandaman hihi
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on December 26, 2011, 02:40:52 AM
1 night b4 dir wedin d guy went to his gf's haus wyl w8ng 4 his gf at d living room. his gf's hot sister told him "if you like 2 hav sex wd me,i'l b upstairs" he stood up & was shocked. den he nade up his mind & turnd his back 2 go 2 his car parked outsyd. to his surprise, his gf was w8ng outsyd w/ tears saying, "u passed d test, i'm happy 2b ur wife!"


- The moral lesson of the story is : Good thing to keep ur condoms in ur car..
hehehehe :)

natawa ako kasi ang galing mo
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: aiko on December 26, 2011, 04:33:22 AM
A very Merry Christmas to all my beloved fans! Miss you all soooo much. ;D :D :) ;)
What a joke juan..merry christmas to u as well...
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on December 26, 2011, 05:06:43 PM
so funny ever
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on December 27, 2011, 06:14:15 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on December 27, 2011, 06:18:56 PM
natawa ako kasi ang galing mo
I couldn't agree with you more, mate. A good one! Doesn't apply to me, though. Me no lyk condom. ;D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 28, 2011, 12:09:50 AM
natawa ako kasi ang galing mo

hehehe... nasa inbox xe sa fon ko kuya kaya naicip ko i post hehe
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 28, 2011, 12:10:43 AM
sige ha, hatagi unya ko ug pangandaman hihi

ammm.. hehe namoot ko kuya!!!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 28, 2011, 12:11:02 AM
hehehe... nasa inbox xe sa fon ko kuya kaya naicip ko i post hehe
nice nga eh hihi
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 28, 2011, 12:12:25 AM
it's hard to see
people change.....









especially when they
change their clothes
in front of you.. :-D



;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 28, 2011, 12:13:26 AM
nice nga eh hihi


tnx kuya!! hanap pa ko iba
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 28, 2011, 12:13:51 AM
it's hard to see
people change.....









especially when they
change their clothes
in front of you.. :-D

;)
hahaha
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 28, 2011, 12:14:24 AM

tnx kuya!! hanap pa ko iba
sige sige hihihihi
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: aiko on December 28, 2011, 01:51:04 AM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: aiko on December 28, 2011, 01:52:23 AM
it's hard to see
people change.....









especially when they
change their clothes
in front of you.. :-D



;)

Oppzz.i dont mind,;D even f they ask me to take fotos ill do it
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: bby_lai on December 28, 2011, 03:41:31 AM
Oppzz.i dont mind,;D even f they ask me to take fotos ill do it


;) ehehe
ayos yun te
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: felix on December 28, 2011, 03:44:55 AM
Oppzz.i dont mind,;D even f they ask me to take fotos ill do it
magpapicture unya ko aiko ha
Title: Same Person???
Post by: juan on December 28, 2011, 06:09:33 PM
wala ng panahon sa pagka martyr ang mahalaga may pera ang aking mamahalin para mabuhay kaming dalawa

(http://d.yimg.com/kq/groups/8630312/sn/571465642/name/n_a)
toughie.. ::) ??? :o 8)

this one's taken last Christmas (2008):
(http://d.yimg.com/kq/groups/8630312/sn/1070123751/name/n_a)
??? ;D :D :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on January 05, 2012, 08:56:16 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Ayon Ho-Ensong on January 05, 2012, 09:54:30 PM
??? ;D :D :) ;)
is this you JOHN?
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on January 06, 2012, 03:38:37 AM
I couldn't agree with you more, mate. A good one! Doesn't apply to me, though. Me no lyk condom. ;D ;)

hahaha, allergic diay pod ka?
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on January 06, 2012, 06:41:34 PM
Title: Then and Now
Post by: juan on June 25, 2012, 08:48:33 PM
Then,
"Girls, be careful with boys. They are sometimes naughty. You might end up going to the maternity without a daddy".
Now,
"Boys, be careful with girls. They are sometimes naughty. You might end up paying child support for the next 20 years".  
;D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on July 10, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
anong difference ng copy and fax?
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on July 10, 2012, 07:12:33 PM
COPy as in COP-u-later. :) ;) Fax ? ...... Never mind. Me is to modest to utter such. ;D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on July 11, 2012, 07:28:14 PM
COPy as in COP-u-later. :) ;) Fax ? ...... Never mind. Me is to modest to utter such. ;D ;)

hahaha gets mo rin kaagad pala
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on July 11, 2012, 08:45:19 PM
Read something like that in a Playboy/Penthouse mag sometime way back when. Hehehe. :) ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: tart on July 19, 2012, 10:34:05 PM
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/556487_451890538165740_1055689823_n.jpg)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: ANG CHARAP NGA NAMAN SA CHUPA! WEHEHEHE!!!
Post by: tart on July 20, 2012, 04:46:32 AM
(http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/561369_451961674825293_1891538266_n.jpg)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on July 21, 2012, 07:25:49 PM
(http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/556487_451890538165740_1055689823_n.jpg)
 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Taym pa ra gud. Wa ko kasabut ining joke. :-\ Ang tata ba tinuod iyang tata? ??? Na-DNA tested ba? ::)
Ahhhh! Nakasabot na ko. Mao diay si Felix missing in action. ;D :D :) ;)


Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on July 23, 2012, 09:53:08 AM
Taym pa ra gud. Wa ko kasabut ining joke. :-\ Ang tata ba tinuod iyang tata? ??? Na-DNA tested ba? ::)
Ahhhh! Nakasabot na ko. Mao diay si Felix missing in action. ;D :D :) ;)

may ganun?
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on July 24, 2012, 06:51:33 PM
Title: Boxing Day
Post by: juan on December 25, 2012, 01:29:49 PM
Today, December 26, is Boxing Day here. Just in case you will be asked during the job interview. :) ;)
Boxing Day is traditionally a day following Christmas when wealthy people in the United Kingdom would give a box containing a gift to their servants. Today, Boxing Day is better known as a bank or public holiday that occurs on December 26, or the first or second weekday after Christmas Day, depending on national or regional laws. It is observed in the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and some other Commonwealth nations.
So, don't give answers like"That's the day when Aussies will be having fistfight". Possible, though. ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on December 25, 2012, 08:28:40 PM
yea, its possible
Title: Heart Attack
Post by: juan on May 15, 2013, 07:46:50 PM
Title: Does God exist?
Post by: juan on May 20, 2013, 09:48:25 PM
Priest: Do you believe that God exists?
Juan: yes.
Priest: why?
Juan: because if I believe that God exists and God happens not  to exist, I have nothing to lose.
But if I don't believe that God exists and God happens to exist, I'll be in deep trouble when the Day of Reckoning comes. ;D ;)
Title: Never cheated on my marriage.
Post by: juan on May 20, 2013, 10:03:30 PM
Not that me's an angel or a sainthood aspirant. In fact have committed every sin found in the Good Book - except cheating on my marriage.
Why so? So that when the Day of Reckoning comes and the Great Judge will ask me, "Give me one good reason that I should take you to heaven with me"?
My answer will be, "I did not cheat on my marriage, my Lord". Makalusot ko. ;D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on May 20, 2013, 11:17:50 PM
some really good jokes from Juan, thanks
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on May 21, 2013, 01:40:23 PM
Not that me's an angel or a sainthood aspirant. In fact have committed every sin found in the Good Book - except cheating on my marriage.
Why so? So that when the Day of Reckoning comes and the Great Judge will ask me, "Give me one good reason that I should take you to heaven with me"?
My answer will be, "I did not cheat on my marriage, my Lord". Makalusot ko. ;D ;)
Seriously, didn't cheat on my marriage 'coz believe in the sanctity of the marriage covenant. In the end, it was the other way around. She left me for a young prick. Rather, she threw me out of the matrimonial home and replaced me by a young prick. Hehe  :) ;)
Goes without saying that old carabaos (m&f) eat young grass. ;D ;)
Title: Santa and Little Johnny
Post by: juan on August 25, 2013, 08:43:07 PM
Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!"
Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ..."  :) ;)
- anonymous
Title: 20 years' misery X2!!!!!
Post by: juan on August 25, 2013, 08:49:02 PM
I'll never forget the last words my ex girlfriend said to me.
"It's twins." :( ;D ;)
- anonymous
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on October 07, 2013, 08:16:55 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on October 07, 2013, 08:20:02 PM
Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!"
Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ..."  :) ;)
- anonymous


hahaha send her to me, santa is busy...
Title: Men have two emotions: Hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, mak
Post by: juan on October 07, 2013, 11:38:37 PM
"Men have two emotions: Hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. (Unknown)" :D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on October 11, 2013, 01:12:04 AM
hahhaa sandwich lang pala katapat sa ganyan?
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: tart on October 12, 2013, 05:37:48 AM
santa baby!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on November 20, 2013, 01:59:19 PM
some really good jokes from Juan, thanks
Don't thank me for those made at your expense. Been my greatest pleasure to add insult to injury.
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: acespiker on November 20, 2013, 03:38:07 PM
hahhaa sandwich lang pala katapat sa ganyan?
bai pirmi man ko busog. :)

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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on November 20, 2013, 04:26:30 PM
hahaha same here bai, unay ug sandwich man gud ka diha..
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on November 20, 2013, 09:06:02 PM
Sinful people.
 :-[
Repent! Repent! For the Armageddon is near!
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Repent, the End of the World is Near!
Post by: juan on November 20, 2013, 09:12:20 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on November 20, 2013, 11:20:37 PM
ayay na...
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: tart on November 21, 2013, 07:48:21 AM
hmmm...
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on November 21, 2013, 06:21:33 PM
hala na...
Title: Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Post by: juan on December 07, 2013, 05:38:46 PM
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way.
Owat fun,
Blat kublan,
Dli dutlag machine gun.
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Boxing Day
Post by: juan on December 24, 2013, 10:51:40 PM
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on December 24, 2013, 10:52:26 PM
aguuyyy ...
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on December 25, 2013, 02:46:55 AM
where's Pacquiao? ???
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Yenski on January 31, 2014, 04:50:06 AM
"You can't help but admire our chief . "And why is that? Because if you don't, you're fired.
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: tart on February 12, 2014, 05:37:34 AM
"You can't help but admire our chief . "And why is that? Because if you don't, you're fired.

hahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahhah!!!!!!!!!
nautas ko kinatawa!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Yenski on February 26, 2014, 07:39:16 PM
Son to Mom: Why do you have so many gray hair?

Mom: Well because you'd been naughty and given me much worry.

Son: Oh - you must have been terrible to Grandma.

o diba?hahahah
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on February 26, 2014, 08:01:05 PM
hala no?
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: tart on February 27, 2014, 03:15:08 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1496891_737899239562590_1914516138_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: juan on February 27, 2014, 05:11:59 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1496891_737899239562590_1914516138_n.jpg)
Meron bang hindi mabaho? ???
Smells like hell but tastes like heaven. ;D ;)

Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Yenski on February 27, 2014, 05:22:46 PM
hahahahaha... epal talaga to oh
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on February 27, 2014, 06:24:30 PM
hahahah bahala na xa!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: Yenski on March 02, 2014, 03:59:51 AM
lage... kumas oyaak na gyud wards
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: sweets on March 02, 2014, 05:59:34 AM
Lats nuh


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on March 02, 2014, 06:03:46 PM
hahaha matagbaw rana yenkz....diba bai sweets?
Title: Boxing Day
Post by: juan on December 24, 2014, 05:00:41 PM
Boxing Day is traditionally a day following Christmas when wealthy people in the United Kingdom would give a box containing a gift to their servants. Today, Boxing Day is better known as a bank or public holiday that occurs on December 26, or the first or second weekday after Christmas Day, depending on national or regional laws. It is observed in the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and some other Commonwealth nations.

Holy Innocents' Day
n. Ecclesiastical
December 28, observed in commemoration of the slaughter of male infants in Bethlehem during Herod the Great's attempt to kill the infant Jesus.
:) ;)

Just reminders.  :) ;)
Title: Re: Boxing Day
Post by: juan on December 25, 2014, 08:07:03 AM
Happy Boxing Day!!!!
 :D ;)
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on July 23, 2015, 03:55:46 PM
if we only just continue share jokes out here and everyone's happy
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on February 20, 2017, 10:39:55 PM
BF: Tara dun tayo sa dilim, sa Damuhan.
GF: Bakit? Anong gagawin natin dun?.
BF: Basta sunod ka lang ako bahala!
GF: Sige, sabi mo yan ahh!
(Pagdating sa dilim)
GF: oh? Anu na gagawin natin ?
Bf: Basta wag ka matakot,mabilis lang
naman to eh.
GF: Bakit ka naghuhubad
Bf: Huwag ka maingay baka may
makakita satin!
GF: Ahmmm, maghuhubad rin ba ako?
BF: Bakit? Tatae ka rin ba?
Hanap ka ng pwesto mo, nauna ako
dito

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170221/ba3f5f0af2af6493c02851387f3d4b93.jpg)


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Title: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on August 09, 2017, 06:18:56 AM
Kaning mga tindera / tindero ug isda ba kay murag wala man jud cguro  nagmahal ani nila kay kada adlaw nalang gyud magsigi ug syaget -

"LOVE-US, LOVE-US mo diha"

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170809/b10e4e7ad2b1ee2bc3e0cc9f427a978c.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on August 09, 2017, 08:39:10 PM
hahahha we love you!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: wardiflex on August 12, 2017, 12:30:06 AM
HAHAHA
Juan : tay, may gusto akong babae. Ang ganda nya. Gusto kong makipag date
tatay : sino?
Juan : si nena, yung babae sa tapat natin
tatay : naku anak, wag mong sabihin sa nanay mo ha, kapatid mo yun si nena nagalit ang bata, lumipas ang ilang linggo
juan : tay, inlab ako. Mas maganda sya
tatay : sino?
Juan : jan sa kabilang bahay, si ana
tatay : naku anak, kawawa ka naman. Anak ko din yun si ana eh nangyari ng ilang beses. Lumapit ang bata kay nanay na umiiyak
juan : nay, galit ako kay tatay. Nagmahal ako ng limang beses pero di ko sila pwedeng i-date kase anak din sila ni tatay
nanay : pwede mo silang i-date, wag kang maniwala sa kanya, di mo sya tatay.
😂😂😂HAHAHA!!!
Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: tart on August 12, 2017, 03:04:54 PM
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170812/0eb1eac5c84d99e072002c3f8a055796.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on August 27, 2017, 08:06:57 AM
Higugmaa ko sama kalami sa KINILAW kay higugmaon pod ka nako sa kalami nga ikaw ra jud ang makatilaw.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170827/38c555b70b9dd13e4d6f1660c09889c1.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 07, 2017, 02:45:11 AM
Isang araw, may isang Grocery ang ninakawan! nag-imbestiga ang mga pulis at ayon sa mga witness ay magkasama ang magkaibigang juan at pedro na nagnakaw. dinala sa presinto ang magkaibigan...
PULIS: totoo bang kayo ang nagnakaw sa grocery?
JUAN: hindi ah!!
PEDRO: aminin na natin juan... totoo po sir pero pinilit lang po ako ni juan!!
(Nagalit si juan kay pedro)
PULIS: wala kaming pakialam kung pinilit lang o hindi ang pinaguusapan dito ay magkasama kayong nagnakaw.. ang parusa ninyo ay hahampasin kayo pareho ng dos por dos sa likod..
PEDRO: bad trip, ang sakit nun!!
Juan: Gago ka kasi, umamin ka eh!
PULIS: pero... dahil birthday ko ngayon, choice nyo kung ilang palo ang gagawin pero 10 na hampas ang minimum.. may bonus pa, dahil feeling generous ako, bibigyan ko pa kayo ng isang kahilingan. ang bawal lang ay ang humiling na walang palo
PEDRO: ako muna... ang hiling ko ay 10 na hampas lang ang gagawin nyo sakin
PULIS: ano yung ikalawa mong kahilingan?
PEDRO: lagyan nyo ng dalawang unan ang likod ko.. sinunod ng pulis ang kanyang hiling at dahil may unan ang likod nya ay hindi masyadong nasaktan si pedro...
PULIS: ikaw naman juan ano ang hiling mo at ilang palo?
JUAN: chief, gusto kong hampasin nyo ako ng 1000 beses..
PEDRO: hahahaha bobo amputa!! andami nun eh
PULIS: hmm... sige, ano ang ikalawa mong kahilingan?
JUAN: itali nyo si pedro sa likod ko.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170907/6dcfe99863f01bf43821891e8667c81d.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 07, 2017, 02:54:36 AM
Isang bank manager ang nagugulat sa isang lola na ngdedeposit lagi ng malaking pera kada lingo meron na itong 30 milyon sa bangko at kadalingo nadadagdagan ito.. nakatuwaan nyang tanungin ang matanda..

Bank Manager: Lola, bakit po ba ang laki ng nadedeposit nyu anu po ba pinagkikitaan nyu?

Lola: ah mga napanalo ko un sa pustahan..

Bank Manager: Panung pustahan?

Lola: Ok sige pustahan tayo bukas ung hugis ng itlog mo ay Square sa halagang 50k. Magsasama ako ng kaibigan ko pra makita!!

Bank Manager: ahahaha o cge deal po pero hnd talaga square ung itlog ko.

Lola: Makikita ntn bukas!

Kinabukasan bumalik ang lola na may kasamang kaibigan. Hinubad na nga ng bank manager ang pantalon at pinakita ang kanyang itlog,... hnd nga ito square so binigyan ng matanda ng 50k ang bank manager:

Bank Manager: Lola eh panu ka ngkakapera dun eh talo ka naman.

Bumulong ang matanda sa bank manager at sinabi...
Lola: May pustahan dn kami ng kasama ko sa halagang 500k ipapakita mo itlog mo sa harapan nmin ...

????????????

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170907/be438b306d8c6a9fb08f104c8d028e98.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 07, 2017, 03:00:52 AM
DOKTOR: nurse asan na ung kasunod na pasyente???
NURSE: ah e pinauwi ko na po dok
DOKTOR: e bakit mo pinauwi??
NURSE: masama daw po kasi pakiramdam nya e...

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170907/ed63541e70350c9f9b19828675231bb4.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on September 26, 2017, 03:22:54 AM
Nene: Nay! May buhok na ang pekpek ko!

(Pumasok sa banyo ang ina..)

Nanay: Ano kaba! Nakakahiya sa kapitbahay! Tawagin mong "Monkey" ang pekpek mo para hindi halata.

(Habang kumakain..)

Nene: Ate may buhok na ang Monkey ko!

Ate: Hahaha. Talo ka! Etong Monkey ko sumusubo na ng saging! ????

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170926/2348eca7456968d034bba2e73ed0cbd9.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on October 02, 2017, 11:14:17 PM
Gf: babe, punta ka ngayon sa bahay?
Bf: oo babe! Punta na ako dyan bihis lang ako saglit.
Gf: okay babe, pero di ako pwede ngayon ha, d pa kasi tapos mens ko. Baka mag expect ka, sinabihan lang kita.
Bf: ay babe! Sira pala motor ko, nakalimotan kong sabihin saiyo. Kanina lang nasira pag-uwi galing office.
Gf: pahatid ka nalang sa kaibigan mo, ganyan naman ginagawa mo dati pag masira motor mo.
Bf: ay babe, nasa hospital kaibigan ko. Nabaril daw cya kahapon. Next time nalang ako punta dyan.
Gf: ikaw bahala babe. Sayang, biniro lang naman sana kita, tapos na mens ko kahapon pa. Cge babe tolog na ako ha? Good night!
Bf: babe papunta na kami dyan, nakalabas na pala ng hospital kaibigan ko. See you later! Mmmmmmwah2x!
Gf: cge babe ingat kayo ha, pero wag kang magalit ha, d pa talaga tapos babe. Biniro lang kita na wala na, gusto ko lang kasi kita makita.
Bf: nako babe! Binaril na naman kaibigan ko!


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on October 03, 2017, 10:23:04 PM
sa lamay. 

Apo : condolence po lola.  ano po ba nangyari kay lolo
Lola : ganito kasi yan apo.  natigok sya nung nag jejerjer kame huhuhu
Apo : baket naman po kase kayo nag gaganun po eh ang tanda tanda nyo na.
Lola : Alam ko apo.  kaya nga tuwing linggo lang namen ginagawa at dahan dahan lang ang kilos ng lolo mo isinasabay nya lang sa kalembang ng kampana ng simbahan. 
Apo : ha?!  pano po yun?
Lola : pagtunog ng "ding" ipapasok ng lolo mo pagtunog naman ng "dong" ilalabas nya. 
.......
buhay pa sana ang lolo mo kung hindi lang dumaan yung bwiset na sorbetero ????????????


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Title: Re: Jokes Galore
Post by: OMG on April 05, 2019, 09:16:14 PM
A plane was about to crash in Tacloban; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am VP Leny Robredo, the chosen one. The Philippines needs me, I can't afford to die." So she took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Macalental, said, "I am the lawyer of VP, so don't want me to die." He took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, Chel Diokno, said, "I'm agains the death penalty, a lot of people depend on me." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped. The fourth passenger, Mayor Duterte, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old Boy, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The Boy said, "That's okay, Mayor. There's a parachute left for you. VP Leny Robredo grabbed my SCHOOL BAG."

HAHAHAHA


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