15
« on: October 24, 2008, 03:45:45 AM »
HOW TO MAKE A SCRAPBOOK FOR BACHELORS
STEP 1: GET LAID
STEP 2: TAKE PICTURE
Something tasteful that captures the true essence of the woman. You’ll want to experiment to find your own style, but I’ve found the combination of zoom lens and cleavage to be the most classically rewarding.
STEP 3: GATHER ARTIFACTS
For instance, did you conjugate in a hotel? Well that room key doesn’t just unlock a room, it unlocks the memory of getting laid in that room.
CHOOSE A COMPLIMENTARY COLOR
Preferably, the background color of each page should reflect some aspect of your quarry. Was she Goth? Make it black. Was she a bride? Make it white. Was she a nun? How about a mixture of black and white.
STEP 5: PICK A BORDER
Here's where I really like to get creative. On page 83 of my own scrapbook, I detail a roll in the hay with a strapping young milkmaid. We quite literally rolled in hay. Hence, I constructed a border out of strands of hay I later found attached to my underpants.
STEP 6: JOURNALING
A picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes those thousand words leave you little to no idea just who the girl was, or more importantly, just who you were. More information is always helpful. Here’s a sample journal from one of my scrapbook pages:
Alias: Elsworth Di Bona
Angle: Prince of Norway – I was to set sail to reclaim my rightful Norwegian throne stolen from me by the evil Dr. Reifenstandt. It was a dangerous, and most likely, deadly mission but such was the risk necessary to ensure my family crest be restored to its rightful, noble grandeur. My enemies could have been lurking anywhere, so it was imperative I secure safe lodging for the night.
Girl: Jenni Hendriks
Measurements: 36-24-35
Special notes: Great backrubs. Unfortunately, roommate raised by elderly Norwegian aunt.
If seen again: Pretend you have twin brother; amnesia; or you’re undercover and can’t talk now.
STEP 7: ENJOY YOUR SCRAPBOOK!
Not only have you commemorated your conquests in a classier way than the traditional notch on the bedpost, but you’ve also embarked on a lifelong hobby that will bestow great personal joy for years to come. Which brings us to the final and most important step of scrapbooking…
STEP 8: GET LAID AGAIN
Show Posts
ON THE WALLS ON EVERY STREET
IN STORES AND MALLS
ON FASHION STORES