Jokes Galore

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juan

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Jokes Galore
« on: August 10, 2010, 01:06:13 AM »
Hear about the Terrorist who walked into the bar,


BOOM BOOM!

No offence intended, Boombastic.  ;D ;D ;D
« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 01:32:36 AM by juan »
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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Third Marriage
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2010, 01:22:50 AM »
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Third marriage is...bad memory.  :) ;)
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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Divorced
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2010, 01:25:09 AM »
Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A. Divorced.
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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Divorce Matter
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2010, 01:26:58 AM »
A divorce court judge said to the husband, "Mr. Perry, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week."
"That's very fair, your honor," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." :) ;)
« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 01:27:21 AM by juan »
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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Too Late
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2010, 01:33:30 AM »
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."  :) ;)
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

*

zulacs

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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2010, 01:33:35 AM »
dili man masabtan imong jokes oi..hahaha..!makapasimangot mani nuon...hehehe,,
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know.
And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go. "

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juan

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Great Trade!
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2010, 01:34:29 AM »
Get a New Car for Your Spouse.
It'll be a Great Trade! :) ;) :D ;D
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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  • Fate is the hunter for my holy grail.
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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2010, 01:35:12 AM »
dili man masabtan imong jokes oi..hahaha..!makapasimangot mani nuon...hehehe,,

Dat's part of the joke. Decipher d joke. ;D ;D :D
« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 01:37:28 AM by juan »
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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Drivers License
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2010, 01:39:27 AM »
A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. It is not polite."
"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"Those are enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?"
And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."  ;D
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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Strange but true
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2010, 01:42:11 AM »
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son. ;D
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.