Jokes Galore

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Advice for unmarried blokes
« Reply #30 on: November 15, 2010, 12:14:24 AM »
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates  ;D

"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

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Faster than eft
« Reply #31 on: November 15, 2010, 12:16:24 AM »
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

j

juan

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  • Fate is the hunter for my holy grail.
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Bad Luck Marriages
« Reply #32 on: November 15, 2010, 12:17:33 AM »
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray  ;D
"true love is life's best treasure.
wealth and fame may pass away,
bring no joy or lasting pleasure.
true love abides all way.
through the world i'll gladly go,
if one true love i know."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
Everyone, who came into my world, left footprints in my heart. Some, so faint, I can hardly detect them. Others, so clear, I can easily discern them. Regardless, they all influenced me. They all made me who I am.

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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #33 on: November 15, 2010, 01:04:26 AM »
The best adult jokes contest  through cellphone texts/sms in U.S.A.

10 Consolation Prize USD10,000.00 each

(3) After sex, a newly wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.
      Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
      Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to
      have one before."
« Last Edit: November 15, 2010, 01:05:22 AM by Mikey Gatal »

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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #34 on: November 15, 2010, 01:05:53 AM »

(4) Women's lives are hard. Morning, wash clothes. Noon, hang clothes.
      Evening, keep clothes. Nite, iron clothes.
      Midnight, take off clothes. After midnight, find clothes.


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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #35 on: November 15, 2010, 01:06:38 AM »
(6) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
     "Anyone got a [email protected]?" All men rose.
     "I meant anyone seen a [email protected]?" All women rose.
     "I mean anyone seen my [email protected]?" All nuns rose.

« Last Edit: November 15, 2010, 01:07:23 AM by Mikey Gatal »

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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #36 on: November 15, 2010, 01:08:24 AM »
A Sad story.
     A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.
     She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said,
    " Sweetheart, this is my last [email protected] for you."

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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #37 on: November 15, 2010, 01:09:04 AM »

(8) Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
     Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
     Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
     Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"


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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #38 on: November 15, 2010, 01:09:31 AM »
(9) A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
     "If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
     Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."

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Re: Jokes Galore
« Reply #39 on: November 15, 2010, 01:09:53 AM »
(10) Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
       Teacher: "Why?"
       Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."